Everything Wrong With Maximum Ride
by FireStarRD
Summary: Starts with the Maximum Ride actors from the movie reading the books and then evolves. It's Cinema Sins in a fanfiction. Collab with "I'mtheactualbatman."
1. Letter 1

Hey! FireStarRD here. This is something my best friend and I did. She put hers on Wattpad, so I'll try and find the link and put it on my profile. Check it out- PLEEEAAAASE? So yeah... Let's get started! Warning- _**SPOILERS! MAJOR SPOILERS!**_

Dear Mr. James Patterson,

We, the actors playing the Flock in the movie series "Maximum Ride" decided to read the books to see how diffrent they are from the movie. And we have some concerns, varying from BIG problems to little problems. Nudge here is a little nit-picky. We've decided to put them in spurts of twenties, because the list wouldn't fit in one envelope. You'd better fund us for this! Note: these aren't in order. At all. At ALL.

1) They changed Max's hair color (brown to blonde/vice versa) every other book

2) When you first meet Dr. Bridget, her hair is blonde, and it magically turns red

3) They quickly ended the choo plot line with loose ends

4) What happened to Anne?

5) They said that they sometimes forget Iggy is blind. His eyes were experimented by crazy ass doctors. How the heck do you forget that?

6) mutating genes do NOT work that way, so in reality, how did they get those powers?

7) In "The Angel Experiment", there's that other bird girl. What happened to her? Why did Fang not recruit her for his new flock? What happened to the mutants she saved? Why was she trusted to look after them when she was about ten years old and they weren't all bird people? She does not know all their individual needs!

8) in the "Final Warning" Angel finds out she can shapeshift. Why is this never mentioned again? This sounds incredibly useful. She could have infiltrated almost everywhere with this power!

9) forced love triangle between Dylan, Max and Fang

10) Why is Akila barely in the books?

11) Total grows wings. What the hell. How? Why? Why didn't it happen before? If it was because he was around the flock for a long time, why didn't Jeb grow wings? This literally makes no sense!

12) In the book "Angel", in the parts 2nd and 3rd... Scratch that, the whole book, Nudge barely talks.

13) Gazzy is really upset about almost killing Jeb, even though Jeb is fucking evil as shit and should never be trusted. I mean, he abandoned you Gazzy. And he didn't die. So forget about it.

14) Max, the girl who hates dresses and is a HUUUUGE tomboy (which we love about her. In fact, a lot of this thing is "Girl Power!") suddenly turns girly. So they just destroyed a great, strong female lead.

15) Erasers are a huge and great plot line that just gets killed off

16) Eraser Max never explained

17) MAYA

18) Who the hell is Ari's mom? He was born after Max, so we know Jeb was experimenting on Max during this time, but he also had the time to play twister naked in bed with some random woman? Why would a woman have sex with a man as crazy and evil as Jeb? Especially since he did experiments on his own daughter? Did she think Ari would somehow be safe? Did she know about this?

19) What happened to clone Nudge? Why did Fang not ask her to join his "new flock"?

20) What happened to clone Angel? Why didn't Fang ask HER to be in his "new flock"? Does he even know about these clones? If so, why not?


	2. Letter 2

21) Why wasn't there clones for Iggy, Total, Gazzy, and/or Fang?

22) Ella is barely in the story and has no personality whatsoever. She's a cardboard character.

23) in "Schools Out Forever", how exactly did Ari come back? It was never explained

24) Speaking of SOF, was Ari in love with Max? (Ew!)

25) Who were the 2 agents with Anne? Were they real officers and Anne had a inside job in the force (like a mole), or were they also working for the school?

26) How the hell were the doctors able to keep this a secret and not leak word to the press? No, like seriously, how.

27) Iggy doesn't come out of the closet and hides his sexuality by dating Ella, because he is so obviously gay it's not even funny. I'm gay, I should know

28) Rather huge coincidence that the girl Max saved's mom is also her mom

29) The bullies going after Ella had a gun. Max didn't really do anything to them. They would have come back in school and hurt Ella (probably worse), so why is this never mentioned? Why didn't Ella go to the police?

30) What happened to the creepy healing girl in "Fang" (when they were in Chad)?

31) Why were the people on Camals firing at the Flock in the start of "Fang" anyway?

32) Who are Angel/Gazzy's, Iggy's, Fang's and Nudge's parents? And if that code wasn't coordinates, then how did they find that picture of Gazzy in that building? Was it planted? By whom? Why?

33) Teenage angst overkill

34) In B2, the scientists give Gazzy a picture that moves, and shows that the parents sold Gazzy to the school. Why does he not question this? He just accepts this. And did Angel know about this?

35) How did Total disappear from the table? Was it a magic table?

36) Blog readers are not that dedicated

37) The blog readers set fire to some of the places. There were chapters about scientists who were there. Did these scientists die? We can also assume there were also mutants in all of these schools. Did these mutants die? In that case, is Fang responsible for hundreds of deaths?

38) "one of the flock is a traitor!" Plot line never finished or mentioned again. It wasn't the flock, since they obviously didn't know anything was going to happen yet, and they were all asleep at the time he got it (plus, no access to the computer). Is this a troll? And if so, why would a troll put so much work into making sure it couldn't get deleted or traced?

39) Where and when did Fang learn to trace things and make a blog, anyway? How did people find out about his blog? Why did people assume/believe he was telling the truth?

40) Jeb is a lil' bitch


	3. Letter 3

41) Fang's 2nd flock

42) So, apparently Fang can't die and they

found this out when Fang was experimented on... And died. And it couldn't have been caused by the shot to the heart, because they left after that, and there is no way they could have performed tests on him after Fang left. Also, if it had been caused by shot, the blood they had would be different than the kind after the shot. So... What the hell?

43) Iggy/Ella/Eggy= way to forced

44) Angel's character is on constant PMS. It's always changing.

45) Max's character changes drastically

46) Fart jokes=overkill

47) Dylan is a lil' bitch

48) Dylan is basically six months old. So Max is a pedophile.

49) to many plot lines not finished. Too many plot lines and plot holes, period.

50) somehow, majestically, no girls in this ever get their period. So, since Jeb and Dr. HG wanted her to have kids, she couldn't. But since they were experimented on, can they even

have kids?

51) It's never made clear whether or not if she does have kids, she'll have an egg or a human born child

52) who started the doomsday group? It was made by kids, but Beth wasn't a mutant. So why would human kids want to kill all humans? Why weren't the whitecoats in on this?

53) What even happened to the whitecoats? In the last two books they aren't mentioned. What happened to all of them?

54) In B1, Nudge very conveniently gets her hacking skill! It's also premonition/look in the past like, so why is the look in the past like power never used again?

55) what happened to the computer kid?

56) in B3, the computer kid says he can email every kid in the world. That is not possible, and what about the kids who don't have email accounts, or own a computer, or don't know about Fang? How come no adults (other than scientists) heard of Fang if he's such an Internet sensation? Why would kids take that email seriously? And if that was possible, it would not take a couple of minutes. It would take HOURS! And what if these kids don't speak English? Google translate sucks. Maybe that's how the doomsday group started- google translated it to say 'end the world!' or something. If so, is Google responsible for Genocide? Is that racked up to Fang again?

57) according to this, Fang has now killed almost the entire human race. Which he's trying to stop. But it's his fault in the first place...

58) What kind of name is "Rachet"?

59)If Rachet was apart of the gang the Ghosts, wouldn't the Ghosts know it was Fang and be okay with him leaving? It was never said he's from there, but that's the only Gang that apparently exists in this series. And if Fang is such an Internet sensation, how does the gang not know about Fang? Rachet also says the gang sees them leave, but Fang checks and they are in a deserted alleyway. So apparently this gang Rachet is apart of is invisible.

60) okay, tons of people had to have messaged Fang saying they were mutants. How was Fang able to tell the fake from the real, and pick from those? If how long did that take?

PS: Hey, note from the actress playing Angel here. I'm kind of confused on the character I'm playing. Do I play her all cutsie or evil? Please help!


	4. Letter 4

61) What are the chances of another mutant reading his blog?

62) Wait, so his second flock is composed of mutants. And Star says she and Kate were kidnapped. How did they escape? Same goes for Rachet and Holden. Except they went back to their parents. Why didn't the whitecoats just take them back, since they obviously know where they live? Were the parents willing to take them back? Why or why not? Were the police involved? Did the mutants have to make something up so they weren't sent to a mental hospital? If so, did anything happen/was there story believe and investigated? If the police wasn't involved, why not? Are their parents crazy? Why isn't anyone looking for Kate and Star/why don't they go home?

63) spoiler! After Fang leaves Rachet and Holden in the desert, how do they get home? They specifically say there is no home left for them, so where do they go? What happened to them? Did they die? What happened to Star and Kate? Did they die?

64) what happened to the gen. 77 kids in "Angel"? Why are they never mentioned again?

65) In "Angel", Iggy was able to be brainwashed, but Max and Dylan weren't? Why is this?

66) Max leaves Ella. From what we have seen from her character in the past, there is no way that would have happened.

67) Iggy is conveniently saved after being put under a cold shower. Also, I can't name any movies where I've seen that. Max, that's for something else, not if you've been brainwashed

68) There is a conveniently placed hot spring to save Ella with

69) Why the hell would Ella want wings, after hearing all of the flocks stories?

70) Max is fourteen when all of this stuff happens. In book FIVE she turns fifteen. And a month later she (and the whole flock) celebrate her birthday, so she's sixteen, that's not how birthdays work.

71) the desert scene in B5 is before she declared herself 15, so, she's fourteen in that, and that is so not okay

72) how exactly did they escape the school in the first place?

73) Since Jeb and Ari and co. Didn't hire the head hunters in B2, who hired them?

74) Was Sam a traitor? If not, how did he know the flock was in trouble and offer to help them? If Sam was, was Lissa also a traitor, as well as JJ?

75) How did they find out Iggy can cook? Did they just let the blind guy near the oven one day, and found out it worked?

76) In "Fang", the healing girl let herself be experimented on for a lollipop. Priorities, people.

77) How did she find out healing girl could heal herself? And why was Angel randomly carrying a sharp rock?

78) In "Fang", Angel points a gun at Max. Max still trusts her. Then, Angel is really sweet in "Angel". Max still trusts her.

79) Max trusts Angel in this series.

80) Whatever happened to the director/half turtle lady? And since she's so old, and an experiment herself, how long exactly has this school/experimenting on children thing been going on?!

PS: Hey there, Mr. James! You FINIALLY sent us a letter back! Yeah, um... There's no way we're stopping... We're on a roll now... Also, you asked us wh we, actors who earned billions, were actually PAYING ATTENTION to detail. Here's your answer- we are out to RUIN. YOUR. LIFE.

Yeah. We read your sick little "deleted intercourse scene" you were going to put in "Maximum Ride: Forever". Do you know how bad that traumatized Max and Fang? THEY WON'T EVEN LOOK AT EACH OTHER. HOW IN HELLS NAME ARE WE GOING TO FILM THIS MOVIE?

Nudge wrote down down everything that happened. I'll send it to you.

Feel guilty for ruining our lives,

-Iggster


	5. Script 1

Iggy: Nudge, start typing their reactions as soon as I give them this paper!

Me: *pulls out computer pretty effing fabulously and starts typing*

Max: Iggy, I swear, if this is a Twilight fanfic or some shiz-

Iggy: I swear it's not! It's a deleted scene from "Forever!"

Fang: *dark, brooding look at Iggy*

Iggy: I swear! (Max and Fang start reading. Their faces get paler by the second, until Max throws down the papers.)

Max: *stares at Fang, horrified* What- you- me- what- NOOOOO!

Fang: *sits in silence with horror struck expression*

Max: WHERE IS THE LIGHTER FLUID?!

Angel: OH MY GOD EW! ACK! I did NOT need to see that!

Fang: *head shoots up and he stares at Angel, eyes narrowed in death glare* One. Word.

Max: Good GOD! I'm not okay- I am so not okay- (insert a 'MCR ad here) oh... I'm gonna be sick... *runs out of room*

Fang: *muttering* Im not that repulsive, am I? (Iggy pats him on the shoulder*

Gazzy: Sick! *glances at Iggy* Um... She does realize all the lighter fluid was used in our last bomb... Right?

Iggy: *shrug*

Max: *comes back into the room, looking green* I'm a teenager! It's enough I was almost forced to breed with Dylan when I was 15! I'm- i'm gonna KILL that bastard! *rushes towards door*

Fang: *silently stands up and grabs her around the waist so she can't go through the doors and kill you. He then freezes. They look at eachother, and then Fang let's go and backs up likes she's a leper, turning the palest shade of pink. Max is blood red at this point*

Iggy: Max! Don't do it! The jails couldn't handle you!

Angel: No, seriously Max. You can't kill him. The fate of the movie rests on it.

Me: *is still typing like Donna Noble* So... Iggy... What exactly was that?

Iggy: Erm... The deleted Twister scene?

Max: *huddles on corner with voodoo doll that looks like you while muttering dark things*

Fang: *is silent*

Me: *drops lemonade* WHAT?!

Angel: Don't remind me! I'm SIX!

Gazzy: What's twister?

The rest of us: NOTHING!

End of Script. Yes, we'll be sending more letters. We're in the 170s now. Oh, and thanks for making me have to give Gazzy the sex talk and ruining the movie, as well as our lives. Asshole. Oh, and the reasons we're using our characters names is to get in character. It's called "method acting". Idiot.

XOXOXOXO

-Nudge

AN: No. To my knowledge, there is no actual deleted twister scene. Though it's very VERY VERY implied, and since SPOILER!- Max gets preggers, we know for sure it happened! I decided to make a joke about it. If it does exist, I'm going to cry. It shouldn't exist. Max shouldn't have a kid until twenty years later, period.

Okay. Well. Yes.

love You but not in a weird way! UNC

FireStarRD


	6. Letter 5

81) Maya tried to kill Max. Maya is also Max's clone. He asks Maya to join his flock, yet insists he "isn't replacing Max". In what way exactly is that not replacing Max? There is no way that could be not interpreted as "replacing Max". He also insists they are different, even though they have the same snark, ideas, attitude, and both love Fang.

82) Why couldn't Maya just ended up with Dylan? No death, and it ties up loose ends.

83) Fang barely talked to his old flock, and rarely smiled, but with his new flock he won't shut up. In fact, he laughed with Maya a lot and in that video, and he somehow doesn't think Max will be checking the blog or that seeing that won't somehow break Max's heart

84) Dylan is forced on Max and he is literally stalking her, yet Fang yells at her for bringing him along

85) Valencia let them experiment on her daughter

86) Jeb experimented on his own daughter

87) Ella was never surprised or introduced to Jeb, which meant she knew him.

88) when "the end" comes, Nudge doesn't seem concerned for the "parents" she glimpsed in B1. Either does Iggy.

89) Why does N. Pierpoint even care for them?

90) Who even is N, pierpoint, and why and how is he this stinkin rich? Why didn't he save the world so this wouldn't have happened in the first place, instead of cowering and building an island?

91) What happened to Gozon? He didn't die.

92) Who made Hamster Cage Man (HCM)? Why weren't they with him? Why does Gozon help him?

93) In book four, it's very convenient that the spy was the one that got killed. Also, if she was a robot, how the heck did they not notice her eating or drinking. In fact, before she died, I think she was mentioned twice. Also, the flyboys were obviously robots. How did technology boost itself so much that they became so humanlike in... Say... Two months? How did they even know the Flock be on that boat in time for her to join the team? And is she worked for HCM, how come he didn't get a normal body? And since he's just a brain on a stick, how can he see or talk or hear?!

94) Fang lets Lissa kiss him

95) Fang kisses Lissa back

96) After this, Fang is mad that Max kisses Sam, but doesn't expect her to get mad at him for kissing Lissa

97) Max doesn't understand why Fang ain't happy that she got kissed (from someone else)

98) If Angel knew that being the voice hurt Max, why did they keep being the voice? Why was this person never suspected? How come Max never tried to have Angel read the Voice's mind?

99) When the voice speaks to the rest of the Flock later in the series, how come it doesn't hurt them at all?

100) Max never has the dream from B1 again

PS: Max here. And let me tell you, Mr. JAMES PATTERSON, that I'm gonna-

 _Fang here. I'm trying to hold Max back. What the hell were you thinking?!_

AN: from now on, it will be ten at a time. That way it'll last even longer. Okay. Peace out. Love Y'all but not in a weird way.

disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride. James Patterson does. That's what this whole thing is about.

~FireStarRD


	7. Letter 6

111) What even happened to the scientists in B4?

112) There really isn't a way to deny it. The ending SUCKED. To some people, anyway. Those poor people.

113) Would Nudge/Angel/Max have eggs, or kids? That was never explained

114) Even after finding out that only the mutants would be saved from death, Nudge still wants her wings off

115) Nudge actually doesn't talk that much

116) How does Nudge know how to be the stereotypical popular girl?

117) When the Flock stays over at the Martinez house and Max tells her story, Ella replies with a story about a dance and a boy she finds cute in her school

118) Why are there no Mexican or Asian kids in this story?

119) When Iggy can start "feeling" colors, why does he only comment on Nudge's skin color, and not the rest of the flock? Racist!

120) If Angel can control the President, why doesn't she make him go after the school, or send agents to protect the Flock? Hell, why doesn't she just make the school leave her alone? And get rid of the doomsday group and 99 percenters? This whole thing could have been avoided!

PS: Heeeeeeey! Um, Ari here. Are you going to pay for my chiropractor? I mean, these wings HURT!

AN: to guest- Yes, yes, Tess. That was her name. Thanks. Well, it's very possible Iggy is Bi or Pans. And no, I wasn't forcing my sexuality on anyone. Iggy being gay is in all of my stories that he's in, it's just a head cannon of mine *cough* Gaydar! *cough*. And I'm pretty sure blind people can blush. I don't think once your blind, you loose the ability to blush. Iggy has blushed before. Point disproven.

X-men and Maximum Ride are COMPLETELY diffrent. And X-men doesn't matter here. That's STILL not how mutation works, unless you've been exposed to a lot of radiation, which they... Haven't. This is also a HUMOR story. Don't take anything I say seriously!

Love you but not in a weird way!

-FireStarRD


	8. Letter 7

121) Ari says "I love it when you're feisty" to his sister. NO. 

122) In "Nevermore", Dylan makes a treehouse that's eight by eight feet. He tells us that he stole the supplies from woodshop. I don't care how strong you are, you're taking a few trips, and there is NO WAY that you made all of these without someone noticing. Also, people had to hear you building that, and the Flock should have heard with their exceptional hearing. Why did no one come investigate? And how did no one see and call the fire department when it lit itself on fire? Also, aren't they trying to save the world from pollution? Why would he used chopped up trees to stop pollution?

123) Also, there is no way you could hide a eight by eight tree house.

124) Okay, so N. Pierpoint almost definitely didn't build anything on the island. So that means he most likely had builders, and some of them probably weren't mutants. He could have made up a story for the builders, but he might not have, so they might have had to work to build a island where everyone would be safe from the end of the world, and then leave the island. N. Pierpoint is a dick to workers.

125) Bright lights in the sky do not make giant tidal waves

126) Dylan is a stalker

127) Dylan is crazy

128) Dylan exists

129) So, in the end Max chooses Fang, but Dylan stays with them. Yet somehow, no one is concerned for the problems this might create later

130) Treehouse scene- Max is still a just-turned-fifteen year old


	9. Letter 8

131) Jeb left a ten year old to look after a blind boy, toddler, a in between toddler and kid,two year old. Yes, Angel would have been 2. So how would she even have remembered anything from the school? Answer- she wouldn't have.

132) Fang LEFT THE LAPTOP WITH MAX. The character we have seen up to this point wouldn't have done this, because he is to dedicated/in love with the damn thing. So, how did he upload that video? Hotels don't have computers? Was it on a phone? If so, why wasn't Nudge able to track it? Wait... Why didn't Nudge try?!

133) Why aren't Fang's bloggers freaking out about him leaving the flock? I would be pissed. There has to be SOME people thinking that him shacking up with Maya is mean! Why aren't they trying to help? They were willing to kill people and destroy schools for him before. Have they been brainwashed somehow? Did Fang warn them? If not, he is possibly responsible for even MORE deaths.

134) When "the end" comes, Fang is not concerned for his readers. Fang is a dick to his followers.

135) In B4, Valencia was with the Flock. So was Jeb. So... Ella is all alone. And wouldn't she be targeted?

136) Who gave them the exploding pizza in B4?

137) How did they notice the wire in the exploding pizza if they were starving?

138) Since the pizza was being handled so roughly before the bomb wire was noticed, why didn't it explode earlier? Such as when Max snatched it, or when it was in the car?

139) Why was a bomb pizza being given to them in the first place?

140) In B4, even after the scientists found out about them being experimented on and shiznit, they still doubt that Angel can read minds after the poker game/when the whales come

141) Why were the adults letting a six year old play poker with money, anyway? Same with Iggy. He's blind.

142) How can Iggy play poker (or any card game, for that matter) if he can't see the cards due to him being blind? They were using cards randomly laying around, and most people I know don't have random braille cards laying around. Truthfully, it's impossible for him to beat anyone with poker or play poker.

143) The whole reason they had to disarm the bomb was so that this nerve gas couldn't get anywhere. Bomb still goes off. There isn't any problems. I counted this already, but just hang on. Angel supposedly died here, but she didn't. How did she get out of there? Why was Angel wired to it, but not Gazzy?

144) What psycho wires a seven/eight year old to a bomb?!

145) Why did Fang fly in front of Angel when they are escaping from the sewers in "Angel"? The character he is wouldn't have done that.

146) In "Nevermore", Max says she almost wishes she wore a dress to the treehouse with Dylan. There so much no in the last sentence I can't even comprehend it.

147) If Angels the voice, who was Angel hearing? Is she crazy? Are we even going to ask about Angel being crazy?

148) Why was a six year old taught poker?

149) Why and how did they learn poker, anyway? Did Jeb teach them? Why would Jeb teach this to them, instead of, I dunno, how to shoot and evade and maybe some sort of military tactic?

150) okay, seriously. They would not be able to fit their wings in a shirt. That's not how 18 foot wings work, guys. Absolutely not.

PS: Fang. Totally out of character, but... Did I really kill all those people?

AN: Hey guys! I recently reached 250 reasons (I prewrite) so as a treat I gave you twenty for old times sake. It will be going back to ten next chapter.


	10. Letter 9

151) when Jeanne (healing girl) starts healing her hand, Max calls for someone who's FRENCH. But more importantly, how did no one else see Angel do this to Jeanne? Why are they not rushing over? Are they all blind like Iggy? Where's Jeanne's mother when she goes to get experiments done on? Will the doctor not save her mother? Well, he's an ass.

151) In "Fang", when they ask who the camel people where, Patrick says he doesn't know but it was most likely some locals who hated Americans. Which raises some questions. How this these locals know they would be right there right then? How did they know they were Americans? If Max can barely see they with her raptor vision, how can they see the flock? How are the bullets going so high? And as for the people flying the planes, why are they basically landing right on top of the Flock?!

152) In B6, Max sees a ton of people go into a tent, as well as Mr. Chu. She then goes to sleep. The character we know wouldn't do that. Also, this is never explained.

153) In B6, Max asks "What is it about my persona that draws every insane, power hungry nutcase to me like a magnet?" Good question. I'd like to know to. But it's not explained, so I'll never know.

154) Max see's Fang's hand as an Erasers paw (in B6). Never explained.

155) The Apocalipticas are mentioned only a few times. Valencia says whitecoats made the virus, but apparently the Apocolipticas made the virus, but they were also kids. So which is it? They were also mentioned only four times. What did they do? Did they exist for five days, and then 'that's it'?

156) One of them (I think it was Gazzy, but don't quote me) says the Apocalipticas sounds like a rock band. Guess what? It is a rock band.

157) Why does Fang call his "new Flock" the "new flock"? Is he really that unoriginal?

 ** _F_** ** _orever spoilers starting now!_**

158: In "Forever", Max is freaking out about Dylan, and Fang isn't freaking out.

159: In "Forever", Dylan is supposedly killed off basically... Right away.

160: We don't get to see Valencia and Ella die.

PS: Yo! Wazzup? Yeah... No. Why do people say that? And why am

I such a home wrecker? I don't want people to hate me! :-( ~Dylan

AN: Hey, guys! I'm over 250 now. Tell me any other things you've noticed for the next chapter! And no chapter until I get 2-3 reviews!

Love you but not in a weird way!

-FireStarRD


	11. Letter 10

161: Valencia and Ella die before 'literally right away'.

162: Okay, Nudge mentions the rain is acid. Then they proceed to fly through said rain. And nothing happens. What happened to the rain being acid?!

163: How the hell were the Flock and the Fish people on the same island, and not have them know about it?

164: 'Killing the dog' cliché.

165: 'I can't count how many times I've cried on one hand' Maximum Ride must also been engineered with extra fingers.

166: Wait... So Fang and Max weren't that far away from the house when they... Ugh... Did twister. And the flock has super good hearing. So the Flock heard it. OH. MY. GOD!

167: Fang defiles my precious Max. Hands off, pal. She's fucking mine! No, I don't care if she's fucking straight! ... No pun intended. ;-) ...?

168: Fang leaves after doing twister with Max. Asshole

169: Fang leaves. How many times is this going to happen before he realizes this isn't a good idea?!

170: The Flock splits up. Didn't they promise they would never do Lthis again? And also, how many times is that going to happen before they realize that it isn't. A. Good. Idea?!

PS: Oh my gosh, hi! I'm Nudge! I like talking, so it's SOOOOO great I got this character. I'm soooo excited! But why don't I talk that much? And oh my gosh, Gazzy learned how to arm fart, that for some reason that smells just as bad as his farts! Like, ew! And how is that even possible? I don't understand it. Do you? Do you know any doctors? Could they tell me? Why haven't you written back? I have a lot of questions! And we've sent you a LOT of letters. Rude! Why do you have to be so rude?! Oh my gosh, that reminds me of this song on the radio. I really like it. Have you heard it? Do you like it? I haven't seen the music video yet though, but I've herd it's random. I can be really random, too. The doctors say I have ADD or ADHD or something like that. I dunno. Oh no! My pencils lead is running out, gotta go! WRITE BACK, MR. JAMES! PLEASE! Okay, bye!

-Nudge :-D

AN: Hey guys! Thanks for your suggestions. Updates may be farther apart- Just a warning. Keep reading, please! Hopefully I'll be writing a sorry we're Fang is a huge homophobic conservative and Max is a bi liberal. He tries telling her being gay is a sin (since she's only dated girls from the school, he thinks she's lesbian). Max decides to go with the Lesbian thing and teach him it's perfectly fine. Only one problem- they're slowly falling for each other! With my signature Iggy's gay plot line (and her best friend) and Lissa as a evil bitch and lots of laughs, I'm hoping to put it up here. Why am I writing it? Because I'm obviously trying to recruit you. Kidding! That's not possible.

Love you but not in a weird way!

-FireStarRD


	12. Letter 11

171: Where does Iggy get his name? Or a Fang? We know everyone else's stories.

172: The fact that the line "I'm not your baby. I never was." is true kills me inside. So I'm adding a sin.

173: since the entrance to all the buildings were under giant tidal waves, how did the Cryenas get inside that big building?

174: Nudges cheek is going to need stitches. Not just a bandana wrapped around her face. Also, poor baby!

175: Max let's a seven year old go out on her old.

175: Angel calls herself Six. But in earlier books, she makes herself seven. What?

176: Total doesn't go with Angel

177: So earlier in the book, there was no way to enter the caves. But magically, as soon as we meet the fish people, there's a way to get to the caves. Because screw logic. Also, since bones were floating to the lake from the caves, wouldn't that be an indicator that there was a way slash opening that these bones were escaping from? I mean, they had to have known they weren't just magically appearing. And they CAN breathe underwater, so what's stopping them?

178: Fang takes on a ton of Cryennas, but does it with a God complex and an ego

179: Wasn't it that Fang can't die? Because "forever" had him doing a lot of that. And if he can die, what the point of the book "Fang"? No, because I'm legitimately confused about this. I really want to know.

180: Okay, so Dylan is the horseman, right? And Dylan is the "perfect other half" of Max. But they made a "perfect other half" that isn't Max. Half means TWO. That's three people. THREE! What?! Half is two, not three. Basic math, people!

181: What is with everyone's freaky fetish with redheads? Good grief!

182: They totally rip off 'Artemis's Hunters' with the gang of rebel girls living in a silo.

183: How did Dylan get into the lake without Nudge noticing? Does he actually knock her out? Why does he fucking strangle her?! Is Dylan crazy? Why are we even asking if he's crazy?

184: Fang knows he will be alone when he dies, yet for some reason leaves the flock, insisting he's 'putting them in danger'. How the heck would he be putting them in danger?

185: How the heck does a tablet get connected with a radio?!

186: Why are people still READING FANG'S BLOG? THIS IS THE APOCALYPSE. GET YOUR PRIORITIES TOGETHER!

187: Everyone is portrayed as straight. 1 out of 6 people (last time I checked) were some form of LGBT, so what the hell?! Did the scientists only experiment on straight people? Was that one of the 'controlled variables'? If so, that's really dumb. Is someone hiding it *cough* Iggy *cough*?

188: The name Phoenix was way too cliched. Even FanFiction writers wrote that. Did you (James) read these fanfics and base it on that?

189: We never find out what happened to that girl from the blog

190: people took selfies before they died. Priorities.

191: When Star arrived, that was pretty fucking great timing.

192: Star runs so far she's almost of of Fang's sight. He says "want some food?" And she somehow still hears that and runs back. How did she hear that? That wasn't one of her powers!

193: Fang is a dick to kids (the ones he left)

194: He seriously left the kids!

195: What happened to the kids under the fake "one light's" power? How did those mutants escape from... Wherever?

196: How did a fake one light brainwash those kids?

197: N. Pierpoint didn't try to save anyone else. Asshat.

198: N. Pierpoint somehow and for some reason didn't plan for flooding. Or bring enough water.

199: Max allowed Nudge to stay behind.

200: People just randomly died in the planes. How did they die? Did they simultaneously have heart attacks?!

PS: As a scientist, I am horribly offended by the way you portray U.S. scientists. A majority of us are completely nice and not in any way willing to genetically alter a human. I demand an apology to be publicly declared.

Sincerely,

Jeb

AN: hey! Sorry this took so long! I'll be at a no technology allowed camp next week, so I made an extra long one. I'll try to post another tonight. I'm up to over 300 plus today, so I'mate excited. Um, I love you guys! But in a very platonic way! Unless you're Maximum ;-)

-FireStarRD

AN part two: Hey, me here! The person I'm collaborating with's name starts with an A, so she-he laughs hysterically every time she-he write these PS parts. Because instead of Authors note, she-he's putting (their name) note. I think they're crazy. Eep!


	13. Letter 12

201: Angel becomes leader

202: Dylan's suicide

203: The writing for the Epilogue wasn't that good. I've seen fanfic writers write better. Sorry, James. This is also just an opinion, so feel free to discredit this one.

204: Henry just leaves his flock without a second thought

205: When Henry is afraid of that little girl, Max still goes up to her. Animal instincts are better than humans, anyone?

206: Henry kisses Max. Just everyone loooooooves Max. It's really actually kind of ridiculous. You'd think he'd want to twister with someone more like him. Why doesn't Maqx try to save THOSE bird kids?!

207: Max tells Nudge "it's always been about the Flock". Except when she was with Dylan. Or Fang. Or when Fang left. Or when she, you know, let the Flock split up.

208: Max says she thinks of Angel as a baby. No mom would let their seven year old go to Russia all alone with a ton of things trying to kill their child on the way there.

209: Max notes on how sucky Anne's maternal instinct is. Look who's talking.

210: Dylan bows down to Angel

Okay, so this chapter kind of sucks, because I''ve been working on the book "Fang". You wouldn't BELIEVE the number of sins that one and 'schools out forever' has. It's RIDICULOUS.

Love, and see you next week-

FireStarRD


	14. Letter 13

211: You, James, promote teenage pregnancy

212: Max gets pregnant at age 15!

213: They changed Iggy's hair to strawberry blond to white blond

214: Dylan's other other half girl person thing was also a fang-girl

Nevermore:

215: Ari coming back is WAAAAY over used

216: After Ari kills Maya, Fangs says "Ari would die for this". But not for any of the other shit he's done. Such as make and work with Maya to kill Max. But you know, technicalities.

217: Fang hitchhiker, even though he's been locked in a a dog cage, experimented on, and killed. You'd think he'd have better instincts.

218: What happened to his car in the desert, anyway?

219: Iggy gets a bow tie. How? Why is he so "team Dylan"?! Is he secretly a Dr. Who fan?

220: His mission title "entertain Nudge and Gazzy so they don't get bored and cause major property damage or worse" fails miserably because he lets Nudge video tape anything. And what happened to this tape? Why isn't Fang aware of what happened between those two in the treehouse?

PS: What do you MEAN your going to sue us? You can't sue us! We didn't do anything! Freedom of speech!

-Max

AN: I'm back! Luckily, I'm sick, so I can make more chapters for you. Love ya'll but not in a weird way!

FireStarRD


	15. Letter 14

221: Making s'mores with a candle is actually fairly easy. Not hard at all.

222: Max kisses Dylan.

223: When they hear the alarm and run to the window, Nudge see's Fang. Dylan, with his great sight, should have seen Fang and had some type of reaction, but there isn't a reaction from him, which means he either is a flipping good actor (which he isn't, with his heart on his sleeve) or Nudge has better eyesight than Dylan.

224: Nudge wore a nightgown. Now that you mention it, in book one Max also wore a nightgown, even though Max hates dresses AND nightgowns are impractical in case, you know, something ATTACKS THEM!

225: If Mark was in charge, who brainwashed Mark?

226: They don't kill Mark the second they see him

227: They freak out because they see two feathers in clamps. How did these feathers not burn? And why would this worry them? There's no corpse! That's a good thing!

228: After getting Angel back, the first thing Fang does is tell Max "we need to talk. About us." I'd think that ANGEL would be more important, but no, apparently not!

229: Max says "I remember what he wrote on a cactus once: Max and Fang forever". When was this? Where were they, for there to be a cactus? Also, this is untrue, since he leaves all the damn time. Also, Max, you just saved your baby. Why are you doing this now, of all times?

230: Dylan destroys a town then leaves. They are trying to save the world (though there isn't a lot of that stuff going on anymore, wonder why?) and he destroys a town.

PS: Sorry about the Henry/Harry thing. That was my fault. Sorry!

-Iggy

A/N: Hey! Hiiiii! Yes, this is based off Cinema Sins. Thank you, Cinema Sins! I was thinking of doing some bonus chapters. Like "proof that James Patterson was originally going to have Ari fall in love with Max and then realized that since literally everyone else was in love with Max it would be weird". Also, there's a Maximum Ride MARVEL COMIC out now! It's called "Maximum Ride: First Flight", and it is completely different then the series. I was thinking of doing a chapter for each comic, so this thing can go on a lot longer. What do you guys think? Should I do it?

I'm also going to do a chapter based only on what guest reviewers and regular reviewers have told me what they don't like about the series.

Anyways, have a great first few weeks of summer, 'k? I love you but not in a weird way! Bye!

-FireStarRD


	16. Letter 15

Disclaimer: I have never actually sent a letter to JP. None of these actors exist, and to my knowledge, no one is sending these to JP. If there is a movie in such years, I am sorry, but these are not the actors. I own none of these characters, just the content in what I wrote.

231: What happened to Coalition to Stop the Madness? Did they just stop doing stuff?

232: Dylan was going and almost did kill Fang, yet Max allows him to stay. Fang even begins to care for him. Wtf.

233: Angel told Dylan to kill Fang (she was his voice) and everyone's (the fans) okay with this

234: Max says it's her fault when Dylan goes on a rampage, when it was obviously Fang's. Now Fang's a mass murderer AND town wrecker. Also possibly a home wrecker. Interpret that as you will.

235: Jeb says his DNA is indestructible and will always heal. That means Fang and Fang's daughter is immortal, no matter what.

236: Max asks Dylan if he is insane as he saves her life

237: Max says "a position no living body could be in" about Ari. Ari has died many times. In fact, never assume Ari is dead. Yet she still thinks Ari is dead. Max, that fucker is always coming back!

238: Max forgets about what Angel said about her mom, and invites her inside. Then she remembers, but chalks it up to a misunderstanding

239: Valencia trusted. Jeb.

240: Fang says "I'll never leave you Max. Not ever again". Max promises too. Then guess who leaves? Say it with me folks- Fang.

241: Why are the Apocolypticas also going by the 99 percenters?

242: Jame Patterson creates virus worse than the one that makes zombies.

243: Angel doesn't tell Max where she is when the fire happens. Just "Don't give up hope"

244: Where is Angel getting all these visions from?

245: In Forever, Max tells her daughter to jump off a cliff.

245: In Nevermore, they say the sky is differently colored, but not in Forever.

246: Max says Angel is wrong when she said "Fang will die first". Fang did die. He was just revived. Angel was right all along.

247: Sorry, back to Forever, I can't believe they tore his WING off! And Fang barely reacts! That's a sin for SURE!

248: Max doesn't tell Fang she loves him when he tells her that when they think they are going to die. :

249: A tidal wave that big would have smacked them against something (even debris) and killed them

250: It makes you think Max dies

PS: How dare you sue Max? She is PERFECT, Mr. James Patterson! Sure, it's on , because it technically IS fanfiction!

-Dylan

AN: Sorry this took so long! As I said, I'm sick, and it really sucks. My body hates me. My collaborator made me write this with her though. Thanks, Jonathon ;-)

Love y'all but not in a weird way!

-FireStarRD


	17. Letter 16

251: Wait, how did Dylan's other other half even know about Fang's blog? Why did she want to help the flock? Didn't she know about Dylan and Max's history?

252: After all the flooding, Angel says she's tapping into Valencia's thoughts, and she's thinking of chain reactions and Russia and maybe another virus. Now, if you've read Forever or have common sense you would know that the tidal would have flooded the caves. And I'm pretty sure she'd be thinking "NOOOOO! ELLA!" And since those fish people had that town that was on land, why didn't Valencia and Ella and such go there? Now that I mention it, why are there freshwater lakes on a sea based island?

Fang:

253: Fang tells Max to "don't think so much. This is supposed to be about feeling stuff, not finding answers, right?" That is so OC I can't even explain to you how OC it is!

254: Max sees Eraser in bathroom mirror, never explained

255: Fang goes into the bathroom smirking, but stops when he see's her afraid. What was he planning?

256: Angel gets rid of Celeste

257: Angel says she didn't know how the DVD got in her bag. Why did it take so long for her to find it? Why doesn't Max question her? How did HG get it in Angel's bag, anyways?

258: Iggy doesn't get his sight back

259: The call Celeste the "ballerina bear" when in earlier books it was an angel bear. Pretty sure.

260: There's a snake jaw on the necklaces, as well as glass. How does that not hurt them when wearing it?

AN: So the person I'm working with got mono, too (not from me, I swear to god!) so that's why this has taken forever. Uuugh. Sorry. Maybe we'll make a script soon, I dunno. See y'all soon! Love you guys, but not in a weird way!

FireStarRD


	18. Letter 17

261: How did Iggy make fudge without anyone knowing it?

262: Fang gives her a promise ring and then leaves. Also, why is this ring never really mentioned again? Doesn't it hurt to punch with a ring? Why doesn't Fang propose?!

263: Max calls Jeb a white hat. What the fuck is a White Hat? Is it a white coat? If so, why didn't she just say "white coat"?

264: On the subject, since they KNOW they are called doctors and scientists, why do they call them white coats, not doctors or scientists?

265: Angel doesn't tell Max Dylan is with Jeb

266: Max says "I wonder who regrets that more" when Jeb says he saved her. Does Max wish she were dead? Why would she say that in front of the Flock?!

267: Jeb says he saved the flock. Fuck you, Jeb! You try to kill Fang, you kill Fang, you try to kill Max, you got them there in the first place... Stop talking, you.

268: Angel, in book 3, wants Fang and Max to get married. Then she wants Dylan and Max to get married. NO ONE IS GETTING MARRIED EXCEPT THE DOGS, ANGEL.

269: Fang and Max never get married in the series. They still aren't married. Why the heck aren't they married yet? They have a kid!

270: Dylan can apparently see the future. Never mentioned again. With this power, it would make him equal to Angel.


	19. Letter 18

270: Dylan can apparently see the future. Never mentioned again. With this power, it would make him equal to Angel.

271: How did the couch set on fire?

272: What exactly were Dylan and Fang talking about?

273: Max smelled the smoke from about a mile away. Dylan and Fang were literally right. Under. The. Dang. House. And. Didn't. Notice.

274: Gazzy doesn't actually fart that much in this series

275: How does Dylan know so much about Max? Stalker alert!

276: Jeb wants to come back and join the Flock and thinks people will just accept that. Jeb, let me tell you something- you're an insane asshole, why would anyone want you to live in their house?!

278: When Max has a dream, she thinks in depth about it. I don't even do that.

279: Max starts to cry. Because the Flock was throwing stuff out. She's also been very emotional, so she's either PMSing or this is NOT THE REAL MAX.

280: The Erasers no longer have wings

281: Who made these Erasers?

282: How did Dylan learn to fight?

283: The Eraser just sits there for like three minutes to break her wings while Dylan fights his way to her. Why did no one else in the actual Flock try to help her?

284: Breaking wings is a huge no no

285: How would you even set a broken wing? It's not like you can put it in a cast.

286: Who sent the Erasers?

287: Who took the Erasers away?

288/289: How did the people take the HUGE PILE OF DEAD ERASERS AWAY without ANYBODY noticing?! How do you transport them? Why don't Angel read their thoughts and warn people (this goes for the first book, too, so I'm counting this twice)? Why didn't Angel read the minds of the people who picked them up?

PS: James! I can't believe you are SUEING my daughter and her friends! Shame on you! They are just KIDS! I'll be there to cheer them on and boo you, Mister!

-Valencia

AN: Hey, guys! I was asked "what me deal is with homos". Um, well, I myself am no hetero. And IGGY BEING GAY IS AN INSIDE JOKE. I've explained this, but I'm explaining it again. :-) I gave you guys 20 because I've been gone, because I moved. Arrrrrrg! Things should start getting back on regular track soon.

PLEEEEEAAASE LEAVE A REVEIW!

I love you guys, but in a weird way!

-Fire*


	20. Letter 19

Hey! Shout out to dirtymind(something)67! (I'm so sorry if I got that wrong, don't kill me.). I went to camp, and just plain old forgot. Sorry for repeating things sometimes. Here's the newest chapter! I already did the disclaimer.

290: Why would they use Erasers? Not Flyboys? Or basically anything better then Erasers? Why do these people never come back?

291: Dylan can heal himself like the creepy girl in Chad. Why is this never mentioned again? How come he doesn't need the shots like Jeanne?

292: In "Nevermore", when they crashed the plane, no one remembers HG can heal himself and thinks he is dead. Also, why is HGs creepy healing powers never mentioned again?

293: Everyone goes with Angel trying to kick Max out of the Flock. Even Jsb. They even count Jeb's vote! Jeb isn't a part of the Flock! Kill Jeb!

294: Angel says "I don't have to tell you or anyone else anything! We have eyes! We can see!" Last time I checked, Iggy was blind. So rude. Angel's a dick to blind kids.

295: Angel still wants to be leader after this book. As we all see, she sucks at being leader. Yet she becomes leader of the world. Why does the flock allow this?!

296: Angel is always stabbing Max in the back, and Max still calls her her baby.

297: Nudge votes for Max to leave. Actually, everyone votes for Max to leave.

298: Dylan, her "perfect other half", doesn't go after Max. We see in later books he's a flipping stalker, so what changed?

299: Fang says Max is overreacting when they kick her out of the Flock. First of all, she isn't even reacting! Second, she can react however damn well she pleases, her basically daughter and siblings are kicking her out of her family! You let her react however damn well she pleases!

300: Max asks Fang what they should do. Max is leader. Max, no! You were supposed to stop the patriarchy!

301: The Flock had never been to Las Vegas before this. Why did this never occur to anyone?

302: Who are the scientists (chapter 48, page 170)? They soul t can't be programmed. Careful now! Some people don't believe in souls! But let's not delve into religion. Also, it obviously can be programmed, since he's hyper-obsessed with Max.

303: Why does Max hear the voice of HG when she wins the jackpot?

304: Fang goes literally crazy and VERY OC when Max wins jackpot

305: What does Max do with this money? Why doesn't she care so much about the money?

306: Max thinks about joining HG's bandwagon. WHY?!

307: Is Dylan can see the future, why didn't he see the Erasers coming? Or... Anything else coming, for that matter?

308: Fang dive bombs circus audience for no reason and scares everyone. Fang is a dick to people who go to a circus. And why were they looking at circus people (they called them freaks) in the first place? Wouldn't that remind them of the school? Why didn't they join a circus?

309: Why were they shooting at them? Didn't the scientists want M and F alive?

310: Seven year old assumes she's the new leader. Everyone, including the adult, let the seven year old be leader.

AN again:

Love you all but not in a weird way, pm if you need someone to talk to. Love conquers hate! Be the energy that saves! 3

-FireStarRD


	21. Everything wrong with this fic 1

FireStarRD presents: Everything wrong with this fic

1: This fic is hardly ever updated due to the authors forgetting, falling into fits of depression in which they can write literally NOTHING, and not wanting to read MR for the 45 time. Yes. We've counted.

2: Everything in this fic as been repeated at least once due to the authors have the memory of goldfish.

3\. Everything in this fic as been repeated at least once due to the authors have the memory of goldfish.

4\. Everything in this fic as been repeated at least once due to the authors have the memory of goldfish. Wait, did I already say that? Sorry.

5\. We totally push our opinions on you. Even the opinions that make no sense ie: Iggy being gay, which none of you agreed with

6\. This fic stopped being funny six hundred years ago

7\. The PSs have been long forgotten

8\. We got the characters all wrong in the PSs, anyway

9\. Why would anyone even make an MR movie?

10\. Why would actors read the books, anyway?

11\. We haven't even started on the web series yet

12\. This is literally a written copy of cinema sins

13\. We haven't even started on the MR manga series yet

14\. We haven't started on the MR comic series yet

15\. Everything is out of order

16\. Basically, what I'm saying is, why are you even reading this? We suck.

Love y'all and have a great day, PM me if I haven't updated in months because otherwise I might forget this exists. That is, if someone reads this and wants it to continue. Never mind. I'm not making sense.

Love you but not in a weird way!

Fire*


	22. Letter 20

Fire* presents: things reviewers hate about MR. Note: everything is copy and pasted with just me changing some grammatical errors.

From guest one:

1\. How about the biology and anatomy of the flock. How are they 2% bird & 98% human!? This is an insult to science and bringing bad stereotypes in this book. They look more human than half human hybrid.

2\. Shouldn't they still be farrell since they never had a education, morals, social structure to communicate with humans that would take years, ya know.

3\. Also max is half Latina which means brown skin brown eyes and hair. Not the one in the freaking manga people.

From Guest Two:

4\. If Jeb is the villen for experimenting his two biological kids why isn't Valencia at fault for allowing this to happen since she's also a mad scientist? Which leaves another question of why didn't she experimented on her daughter ella?

I think this is guest one but it may be guest 3:

5: Also I'd like to point out that six children born and raised in a lab almost their whole entire life and somehow escape without explaining how.

from Blaze Kuraga:

6: iggy isn't gay if that's were your trying to get at remember he was head over heels for ella but is devastated throughout the book and it kinda pisses me off that no one talks to him and sees if hes alright with the loss of her.

Unnoticed Silence:

7\. I have a question: why does Fang magically have wifi everywhere?  
Random, I know I was just thinking...

Hey, this fic will probably finish like... Now. I know we didn't do some of the books but this fic really sucks and not a lot of people seem to like it, and it's just a chapter of our idiocy, **so it may be deleted soon**. If you want us to do the comics or manga or whatever, tell us, if you don't want us to do those and want us to STOP RIGHT NOW, tell us. If you don't give a shit either way, don't review.

Have a great day, y'all


	23. James is very straight

Okay, so it looks like some people actually do think Iggy is gay...? So... Here's some proof that James REALLY WANTED heterosexuality and forced gender roles in the flock, which, statistically, most likely wouldn't have happened.

1) Dylan. Literally everything about Dylan.

2) In MR Forever Gazzy is suddenly girl crazy? Why? It's the middle of the apocalypse, get your priorities straight (no pun intended)!

3) Fang and Max do the twister (which would be fine, except they are siblings

4) Nudge is boy crazy (which is fine, but strange)

5) LISSA PLOTLINE (And everyone's slut shaming, the girl on girl hate)

6) Dr. Bridget love plotline (and how that would make her a pedophile)

8) All the kids had heterosexual parents

9) Ella is also "boy crazy"

10) In book two (I think it was Tess, but don't quote me) tried hitting on Iggy

11) Angel tried getting Fang and Max together

12) Dylan's "other half" which is actually a THIRD BECAUSE MAX IS HIS OTHER HALF I'M SO ANGRY ABOUT THIS

14) He made it "romantic" that Dylan forced himself on Max. No. That isn't. That is illegal and disgusting and horrible. Guys, if anyone does that, get a restraining order.

15) Nudge is the stereotypical "girlie girl" aka very fem

16) He makes the girls wear dresses even though that it doesn't make sense

17) He makes tom girl max want to wear a dress. I've counted this before, but still.

18) He makes Max freak out so bad after Fang leaves she has to live with her mom, which if it was just family, makes sense, but he made it romantic

19) Lissa was a stereotypical "slutty girl". Excuse me bastard don't even get ME THE HECK started on this

20) Star and Kate are also girly girls? What? How can anyone even BE a girly girl in this time/when you've been experimented on? By girly girl I mean wearing skirts all the time- awful for running away in

21) Maya and Fang. Okay James, we get it, YOU LIKE STRAIGHT PEOPLE

22) LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE DAMN CHARACTER IS FUCKING STRAIGHT, OR IF THEY ARE ANYTHING ELSE IT ISN'T MENTIONED AND THEY ARE ALL IN STRIAGHT RELATIONSHIPS, UNLESS ONE OF THE CHARACTERS WAS NOT THE GENDER THEY WERE TOLD AS, BUT EVERYONE IN THE STORY IS CISGENDER I'M GONNA CRY

23) The girls all have long hair, which is a horrible idea. Shave that shit.

POSSIBLE LGBT SUBPLOTS I'M A GAY NERD DON'T KILL ME I'M ALLOWED TO HAVE HEADCANNONS

1) Angel (book three) for some reason knows marriage laws. Why and how does she know this? Was she looking them up for someone?

2) How could Iggy like/love a cardboard character after barely knowing her? Answer: he can't. He barely knows her. Has to be a cover up.

3) I feel like Gazzy suddenly being girl crazy was also a bit of a cover up

4) Statistically, someone should at least be bi curious.

5) Okay, this one doesn't really count, but... Fang said the word Figgy I'M KIDDING

CHAPTERS SHOULD BE COMING REGULAR AGAIN

SORRY FOR MY BOUT OF LOW SELF ESTEEM

I LOVE YOU GUYS

PEACE OUT


	24. Letter 21

311) How did they get food when they were in there weird house thing? Or anything, really?

312) How did they pay for bills? If they didn't, how did they have electricity/running water?

313) Okay, really, how the hell were Max and Fang able to rebuild the thing? ANGEL CAN EFFING READ MINDS. ALSO, WHEN WERE THEY ABLE TO GET AWAY THIS LONG AND DO WIRES AND PLUMBING?!

314) How did the school get funding? They had to get money some how, and the government has satellites so they would have been able to see the School buildings, it isn't secret at all

315) Why are literally none of them religious? Star says she went to catholic school but it's hinted she doesn't believe in it. Statistically at least some of them should be religious.

3316) Why is there a ROAD leading to the SECRET HOUSE?! If there is a ROAD, it is NOT SECRET!

317) How is anyone able to come up with witty comebacks? In reality they should barely be able speak English

318) They should always have tangled hair. Always.

319) They technically go higher then birds, and which human lungs (even with the tiny air sacks), they shouldn't be to go that high

320) They should somewhat have cravings or wants to eat things bird eats

321) Gazzy hates Vegans. did vegans ever do?

YOOOOOOOOOOOO

IT'S ME, GAZZY!

WAZZUP?

AN: So this was the general stuff I came up with. The Maximum Ride Comics will be starting this weekend or a little bit later. I'll add more if I think of any and I'll start doingindividual books again. I'll also probably do the manga, you can read that online or at your local or school library. Comic book stores carry the Maximum Ride: first flight comics really cheap (four dollars per comic), so just ask where they are.

Love y'all but not in a weird way!

-Fire*

PS: someone said they were excited the fic was continuing, but when I asked people to tell me that, they didn't...? I'm confused.


	25. Comic 1

Flower came up with these! Thanks, kid!

322) Nudge said she refused to eat meat in book one, which is dumb because she is seriously limiting her option on food, and will only lead her into starvation!

323) If the whitecoats could make Iggy have the ability to see white, why couldn't they give him to see all the colors, therefore fixing his blindness!

Comic 1, starting now. (I'm doing panel by panel, so get the comics!) ALSO, NOTE: I will still be doing things I notice from the BOOKS as well, so if you haven't read the comics, you can still keep reading. :) But if it is for the books, I'll specify. If I don't specify, it's the comics.

1) Max has red hair

2) She's wearing a gosh darn nightgown again

3) The flock has MECHANICAL WINGS?!

4) The erasers in the panel where she first flies (it's two pages) has the erasers , BIGGER THEN A LITERAL FOREST

5) it says they buried him a year ago. In the books, there was no body to bury, he just went missing

6) IN THE BOOKS, PS, WHY DID NO ONE EVER THINK HE WENT TO THE SCHOOL? Also, why didn't they move out of the damned house?

7) In the books, since they had never left the house, they would have never actually had to "scavenge for food" or break into houses. In "the angel experiment", they were doing all of this for the first time.

8) Fang is VEEEERY talkative. He is also kind of flirty towards Max. Huh?

9) When Nudge asks why she isn't Fang's favorite, he literally says "I'm to jealous of your fashion sense, Nudge. I lie awake at night, wishing I could pull off booty shorts. ... That came out wrong." NO

10) Nudge's face when the eraser came in NO

11) Their wings are apparently made of alloy. No, their wings were skin andbone and feather.

12) I'm still laughing at Max's face when Angel gets taken away. What happened?!

13) Ari has THREE eyes?!

14) Gazzy says "want to know I'm called the gasman, Ari? I can't read minds like my sister, but I can read machines. And I'm reall good with FIRE." And then the house explodes. He was on his COMPUTER while saying this, casually typing away as they steal his sister. And no, he's called the Gasman because he FARTS.

15) Max stutters when she tells Ella to run, apparently from fear.

16) Ella is obviously NOT Latina in the way she is drawn. She is a blonde white girl in the drawing. Um, no, Ella is Latina.

17) Max gets shot, and the impact of the bullet takes her over the bridge and into a river. In the books, she was in a city, definitely not on a bridge, because she ran through tress, remember?


	26. Character analyzation: Iggy

IGGY IS GAY #1 REASON

As we can see, Iggy is a very emotional character. In book 2, when it turns out the map idea was incorrect, and Iggy's parents are not actually there, Iggy had a mini emotional break down, sat down, swore (which he had never done before), and refused to move. And he hasn't even MET his parents.

Now, APPARENTLY he was in love with Ella. He knew her for a good long while, emotionally connected with her, ect. Yet when she is killed, he only says something slightly bitter. That's it. The end.

We could say that this is James trying to be all gender roley with us again, making the man "super macho" and stuff, but I don't think so.

I think Iggy is bisexual as hell.

I think Iggy is struggling with internalized homophobia because he was raised exclusively with the Flock, a group of cis, heterosexual kids, and that's it. He barely had connections to the outside media, and when he DID, it was all about "how to save the world" and bullshit, not "love wins".

I think Iggy likes Dylan but realizes this could never happen and is sad as hell. I think he like Fang, too. Only slightly, though. Like a squish.

I think Iggy could seriously could not GIVE A SHIT about what you look like (he literally can't tell?) and loves you for your personality, which is why he loves Dylan. Dylan wears his heart on his sleeve, is nothing BUT personality, and he can see that, see ALL of Dylan, and it kills him that he loves Max.

I think Iggy chose to be with Ella to 1) try to get away from the pain and 2) He thought that he was weird, that his bisexuality (which he didn't know the word for, but everyone else in the flock only likes one gender- the one opposite of them, and Iggy realized he was the only one not like that) was caused from all of the experiments preformed on him 3) She had no personality and Iggy was hoping that that was a facade that there was something behind her mask. Which, unfortunately, there wasn't.

I think that when that one girl in book two tried hitting on him he thought it was a friend thing. Which, by the way, they should have become best friends. That would have made me so happy. Give me Iggy and Tess giggling over boys and girls and non binary kids any day of the week and I will literally kiss you.

Iggy is bisexual as all ever loving heck and nothing will ever change my mind on this.

Love Y'all, but not in a weird way,

-Fire*


	27. Abusive relationships in MR

Plot analys: Abusive relationships in Maximum Ride

I've said it before: Dylan is a stalker, which means Mylan/Dax is an abusive relationship. But it isn't the only absiive relationship within the series. Fax is as well. So is Jeb and Angel/The Voice's relationship with the flock. Below we have some of the warnings of an abusive relationship.

A more sophisticated form of psychological abuse is often referred to as "gaslighting." This happens when false information is presented with the intent of making victims doubt their own memory, perception, and sanity. Examples may range simply from the abuser denying that previous abusive incidents ever occurred to staging bizarre events with the intention of confusing the victim (Jeb, Anne).

1\. They humiliate you, put you down, or make fun of you in front of other people. (Jeb)

2\. They regularly demean or disregard your opinions, ideas, suggestions, or needs. (Jeb, Angel)

3\. They use sarcasm or "teasing" to put you down or make you feel bad about yourself. (Fang)

4\. They accuse you of being "too sensitive" in order to deflect their abusive remarks. (Fang, Angel)

5\. They try to control you and treat you like a child. (Dylan, Angel, Jeb)

6\. They correct or chastise you for your behavior. (Jeb, Angel)

7\. You feel like you need permission to make decisions or go out somewhere. (Angel)

8\. They try to control the finances and how you spend money. (Angel)

9\. They belittle and trivialize you, your accomplishments, or your hopes and dreams. (Angel)

10\. They try to make you feel as though they are always right, and you are wrong. (Fang, Angel, Jeb)

11\. They give you disapproving or contemptuous looks or body language. (Jeb, Angel Fang)

12\. They regularly point out your flaws, mistakes, or shortcomings. (Jeb, Angel)

13\. They accuse or blame you of things you know aren't true. (Fang)

14\. They have an inability to laugh at themselves and can't tolerate others laughing at them. (Jeb)

15\. They are intolerant of any seeming lack of respect. (Jeb)

16\. They make excuses for their behavior, try to blame others, and have difficulty apologizing. (Fang, Jeb, Angel)

17\. The repeatedly cross your boundaries and ignore your requests (Dylan, Fang, Angel)

18\. They blame you for their problems, life difficulties, or unhappiness.

19\. They call you names, give you unpleasant labels, or make cutting remarks under their breath.

20\. They are emotionally distant or emotionally unavailable most of the time (Fang)

21\. They resort to pouting or withdrawal to get attention or attain what they want. (Fang, Angel)

22\. They don't show you empathy or compassion. (Angel, Jeb)

23\. They play the victim and try to deflect blame to you rather than taking personal responsibility. (Angel, Fang)

24\. They disengage or use neglect or abandonment to punish or frighten you. (Fang)

25\. They don't seem to notice or care about your feelings. (Angel, Jeb)

26\. They view you as an extension of themselves rather than as an individual. (Jeb, Angel)

27\. They withhold sex as a way to manipulate and control.

28\. They share personal information about you with others. (Jeb)

29\. They invalidate or deny their emotionally abusive behavior when confronted. eb)

30\. They make subtle threats or negative remarks with the intent to frighten or control you. (Jeb)

\- See more at: /11/relationships/signs-of-emotional-abuse#

Jeb, we already knew. That much is obvious. But it's alarming how many things Ange, Dylan, and Fang fit in to, too.

If you would like me to clarify anything, just tell me in the reviews, and I will explain in the next chapter. If you have noticed anything else wrong, please tell me in reviews.

Fire*


	28. Character Analyzation: Jeb

Character anylization: Jeb

As we see throughout the series, Jeb is delusional. This may be because of a type of Delusional Disorder. There are many types of Delusional Disorder, but the type I am talking about is Grandiose.

 **Grandiose:** A person with this type of delusional disorder has an over-inflated sense of worth, power, knowledge, or identity. The person might believe he or she has a great talent or has made an important discovery.

This is closely related to schizophrenia, another mental illness that can cause delusions. Jeb also has delusions of grandeur.

(See more of the below article here: /encyclopedia/2008/delusion-of-grandeur/

A **delusion of grandeur** is the fixed, false belief that one possesses superior qualities such as genius, fame, omnipotence, or wealth. It is most often a symptom of schizophrenia, but can also be a symptom found in psychotic or bipolar disorders, as well as dementia (such as Alzheimer's).

People with a delusion of grandeur often have the conviction of having some great but unrecognized talent or insight. **They may also believe they have made some important discovery that others don't understand or appreciate.**

Less commonly, the individual **may have the delusion of having a special relationship with a prominent person** (Max, who he believes must save the world). Or the person may believe that actually are a very prominent and important person, in which case the actual person may be regarded as an imposter.

 _Grandiose delusions may have religious content, such as the person believes he or she has received a special message from God or another deity._

Sometimes, in popular language, this disorder may be known as "megalomania," but is more accurately referred to as **narcissistic personality disorder if it is a core component of a person's personality and identity**. _In such disorders, the person has a greatly out-of-proportion sense of their own worth and value in the world_. People with this issue can also sometimes have a taste for the finer, more extravagant things in life.

This seems to greatly fit Jeb. It is quiet obvious he has some sort of mental illness, as he believes everything he is doing is for "the greater good". This, in his mind, justifies the murder and torture of innocent children and animals. While this mental illness does not neccissity fit Jeb, and there may be another that fits more, note that it is treatable and basically all people who have this mental illness would never ever do what Jeb has done.

You may be asking why a place would hire a man with mental illness. It is poss

ible he had mess in the beginning and ran out over time, or forgot to take his mess. It is also possible that the signs of mental illness we're not prominent at the time or he was not yet (or ever) diagnosed with a mental illness. The group also needed scientists who were willing to do this, so I doubt they cared if the person was sick if they could creata master race. At that time, Jeb would willingly kill himself for the "betterment of the earth".

I am not a mental health professional, and this is just an idea. I am sorry if I have offended anyone.

have a nice day! PLEASE TELL ME WHY YOU DISLIKE SOME CHARACTERS, IE FANG IN REVEIWS, OKAY? VERY IMPORTANT! HEADCANNONS ARE WELCOME! Please tell me which character you would like to analyze next!

Shoutout to FlowerSocks2137!

Love y'all,

-FireStarRD


	29. Character Anlyzation: Dylan

Character Analsis: Dylan

Dylan is quiet obviously a stalker. There are many different types,many I think I have found two that Dylan is over the course of the series. I did not write this unless in parentheses, this was copy and pasted from a site where I asked for permission to do so. Plagerism isn't against the law, folks.

 **Simple Obsession Stalkers SUMMARY AT BOTTOM**

These stalkers have previously been involved in an intimate relationship with their victims. Often the victim has attempted to call off the relationship but the stalker simply refuses to accept it. These stalkers suffer from personality disorders, including being emotionally immature (Yes), extremely jealous (yes), insecure (yes), have low self-esteem and quite often feel powerless without the relationship (Yes).

While reconciliation is the goal, this stalker believes they must have a specific person back or they will not survive. (Yes. Dylan literally KILLS HIMSELF because he can't have Max.) Their worst fear is losing people over whom they have control.

When they realize this fear as the relationship finally does end, the stalker suddenly believes that their life is destroyed. Their total identity and feelings of self-worth are tied up in the power experienced through their domineering and abusive relationship. Without this control, they feel that they will have no self-worth and no identity. They will become nobodies and in desperation they begin stalking, trying to regain their partner and the basis of their power. (Yes!)

It is this total dependence on their partner for identity and feelings of self worth that makes these stalkers so very dangerous. They will often go to any length and stop at nothing to get their partner back. If they can't have the people over whom they can exert dominance and total control, their lives are truly not worth living. Unfortunately, along with becoming suicidal, they also often want to kill the intimate partner who have left them. (Dylan only became suicidal, not homocidal.)

Stalking does not always begin with violence or trying to terrorize, it usually starts with, "Can I just talk to you or meet with you one last time?" " If you just talk to me I'll leave you alone." According to experts, "He wants her back, and she won't come back." (No.)

Everything escalates from there and sometimes he snaps and assaults or kills her. In his mind, he makes the decision, "If I can't have you, no one else will." When he says this, he is attempting to cover his fear that she'll meet another man and leave him. Far too often, the police find that these stalkers follow through on their threats, killing the victims and then many times committing suicide. For them, death is better than having to face humiliation of the stalking victim leaving them for someone else, and the humiliation of having to face their own powerlessness. (Yes to the suicide).

 **Intimate Partner Stalkers**

Once the relationship ends, this group of stalkers, fearing they will lose their identity and self-worth, often become desperate to re-establish the dominance and control they wielded during the relationship. If they find this isn't possible they can become suicidal, homicidal or both. (Yes.) Intimate partner stalking can end in much worse than just injury. It can end in death if the stalkers cannot regain the control they so intensely and desperately need. (Yes).

Many intimate partner stalkers who have spent years dominating and controlling their partner simply cannot face the prospect that the people they've controlled for so long have successfully gotten away - have proven themselves stronger than the stalkers. While this kind of stalker may or may not have psychological disorders, all clearly have personality disorders. A few of these personality disorders, according to the National Victim Center include:

1\. Socially maladjusted and inept (yes)

2\. Emotionally immature (yes)

3\. Often subject to feeling of powerlessness (yes)

4\. Unable to succeed in relationship by socially acceptable means (yes)

5\. Jealousy bordering paranoia (yes)

6\. Extremely insecure about themselves (yes)

7\. Often suffering from low self esteem (yes)

According to experts, intimate partner stalkers can be the most dangerous types of stalker because they often have a history of violence against their victim, and consequently feel totally uninhibited about using more or heightened violence in an effort to get them back. The stalkers know that violence has worked for them in the past, and so they have no reason to believe that it won't work again. Also, intimate partner stalkers know their victim well: their family, their place of employment, their recreational activities, and so forth. They know where to find their victim.

Intimate partner stalkers, because of the dominance and control once held over their victim, often have the mind set that the victim is their property, to do with as they wish, and to reclaim in any way they see fit. And, believing that their lives won't be worth living if they can't recapture the victim as their property, they often feel they have nothing to lose by using extreme measures. Consequently, these stalkers feel totally justified in doing just about anything in an effort to regain control over the victim. Since the stalker believes the victim belongs to them, they show no regard for restraining orders, and may instead be infuriated by them, feeling they are being denied their God-given rights.

One victim best sums it up. "When you know a person is capable of anything, and he also feels he has nothing to lose, you'd better be scared of him. He'll kill you."

Researches have now found that intimate partner stalking often follows a three-phase cycle.

 **Stalkers will not take no for an answer. YES**

They refuse to believe that a victim is not interested in them or will not rekindle their relationship and often believe that the victim really does love them, but just doesn't know it and needs to be pushed into realizing it. As long as they continue pursuing their victim, the stalker can convince themselves they haven't been completely rejected yet.

 **Stalkers display an obsessive personality. YES**

They are not just interested in, but totally obsessed with the person they are pursuing. Their every waking thought centers on the victim, and every plan the stalker has for the future involves the victim. Ask yourself this. Is the person totally involved in and completely overwhelmed with pursuing someone who has no and never will have any interest in him or her?

Along with obsessive thinking, they also display other psychological or personality problems and disorders. They may suffer from erotomania, paranoia, schizophrenia, and delusional thinking. According to Professor R. Meloy, "these stalkers have rigid personalities and maladaptive styles. These disorders in themselves are very stable and not treatable." There are drugs to treat certain specific mental disorders, but stalkers, when given the choice, seldom continue with their medication or treatment.

 **Stalkers are above average in intelligence and are usually smarter than the run of the mill person with mental problems. YES**

They will go to great lengths to obtain information about their victims or to find victims who have secretly moved. They have been known to hack into computers, tap telephone lines, take jobs at public utilities that allow them access to the victims or information about the victims, and even to travel thousands of miles and spend thousands of dollars to gain information about or find their victims. Stalkers many times use their intelligence to throw others off their trail.

 **Most stalkers don't have any relationship outside the one they are trying to re-establish or the one they have imagined exists between them and their victim. YES**

Because they are usually loners, stalkers become desperate to obtain this relationship.

 **Stalkers don't display the discomfort or anxiety that people should naturally feel in certain situations. YES**

Normal individuals would be extremely embarrassed to be caught following other people, going through their trash looking for information about them, leaving obscene notes, and other inappropriate behavior displayed by stalkers. Stalkers, however, don't see this as inappropriate behavior, but only as a means to gain the person's love.

 **Stalkers often suffer from low self-esteem, and feel they must have a relationship with the victim in order to have any self worth. YES**

Preoccupations with other people almost always involve someone with weak social skills and low self-esteem.

 **Few stalkers can see how their actions are hurting others. YES**

They display other sociopathic thinking in that they cannot learn from experience, and they don't believe society's rules apply to them. Most stalkers don't think they're really threatening, intimidating, or even stalking someone else. They think they're simply trying to show the victims that they're the right one for them. To the victims of stalking it is like a prolonged rape.

Stalkers, like rapists, want absolute control over their victims. They don't regard what they're doing as a crime, or even wrong. To them it is true love, with the exception that the victim doesn't recognize it yet. With enough persistence, stalkers believe they will eventually convince the victims of their love.

 **Stalkers many times have a mean streak and will become violent when frustrated. How violent? Often deadly.**

* * *

 **TRAITS OF A STALKER  
Won't take no for an answer (yes)**

 **Has an obsessive personality (yes)**

 **Above average intelligence (everything but on how to hide emotions)**

 **No or few personal relationships (yes)**

 **Lack of embarrassment or discomfort at actions (SOOOO MUCH YES)**

 **Low self esteem (yes)**

 **Sociopathic thinking (kind of?)**

 **A mean streak (To Fang)**

Dylan refuses to take no for an answer. He follows Max and forces himself into her bubble, and she sort of starts liking him. THIS IS CALLED STOCKHOLM SYNDROME. His He follows her everywhere, eventually committing suicide when she chooses Fang.

 ** _PLOT HOLE ALERT! DYLAN WOULD NOT HAVE COMMITED SUICIDE IF HE HAD BEEN PROGRAMMED CORRECTLY! REAL ANALYSIS BELOW!_**

Let me explain. Dylan is programmed to "love" Max, right? In the book "Fang", we see he is programmed incorrectly, as he doesn't go after Max. But it seems to correct itself because he becomes ridiculously obsessed with her. So he's fine now, and nothing is wrong. His programming makes it so he CANNOT LEAVE MAX, EVER. Yet he somehow leaves Max to "kill" the Flock, and then kill himself. This shows he hasn't been "programmed" correctly.

Also, if they were able to program, some parts of him would HAVE to be machine/robotics, and this isn't talked about in the book! Because, as they said in book six, "the soul couldn't be programmed".

Back to the "cannot, under any circumstances, leave Max" thing. He has b

een programmed to love every little thing about Max, which means he would have loved Max's love for Fang. He would have especially liked Max.

Since Dylan can no longer go after Max, his programming would probably make it so he would try making Fang or, gods forbid, PHEONIX love him. No, I am not kidding, think about it.

Jame's Patterson has literally romanticized stalking. This can show young girls that it is okay for boys to do this, and show young boys that it's okay if they do that. No! If anyone does this to you, **CALL NINE ONE ONE.**

Stay safe, guys. I love you.

 **-FireStarRD**


	30. Everything wrong with the fandom 1

Here, we are going to talk like "the fandom" is one person, collectively. I shall be using "they/them" pronouns as not to offend anybody. Note: these are all generalizations, don't be to offended!

1) They are a total slut shamer. Technically, Lissa didn't do anything wrong, and we have no proof Dr. Bridget was actually flirting with Fang. Lissa flirted with a guy, as many of the fandom does, and Fang (alibiet unknowingly) led her on. Also, he didn't fight back! He willingly accepted said kiss, and kissed her back!

2) They are totally fine with suicide. Now, I'm not saying that suicide is okay, or that it's not okay, but when Dylan tries to commit sluices in "Fang" the fandom talked about it for about the whole of two seconds and that was it. The end of the book? "Oh, they all lived happily ever after!" Except Dylan, and since he was Max's other half, and killed himself because he couldn't have her wouldn't HIS "other half" kill HERSELF? Dylan is an idiotic selfish bastard murderer, and the fandom is okay with this?!

3) They over analyze EVERYTHING.

4) They miss a LOT of plot holes in the books.

5) They aren't really doing anything to stop pollution, even though the last few books are just on pollution for the most part.

6) They let stalking be romanticized and even romanticize it themselves.

7) They're okay with Abusive relationships.

8) Since Fang has left so many times before, he will probably leave again. How would Phionex deal with that? Well, the fandom doesn't care.

9) They apparently like hating the things they love

10) They let a strong female character be destroyed by romance. Changing yourself because of romance is okay, but DON'T LET IT TAKE OVER YOUR WHOLE LIFE, PLEASE


	31. Character Analyzation: Nudge

Character analyzation: Nudge

Nudge likes talking. She's a social person, who likes pink, glitter, clothes. She wants to be an actress, and she's a nice person (until the last book, when she's kind of a brat), and I love her.

It's pretty evident that Iggy, Gazzy and her all have ADHD. That's just something that we can assume. But here's my theory about WHY she likes fashion and such.

Nudge's first memories are being on the run and growing up in a dog cage. Yet when she looks at EVERYTHING in the media (WHICH THEY SOME REASON HAD ACCESS TO?!) she see's (mostly) American kids, living normally. Nudge wants to be like them, be normal, like she's says every other book. Yet she knows she never CAN be normal, because she has been raised in such a way, and they another.

Nudge can only see things to a certain point, she can't think far ahead as we see. in the last books it's "I'm comfy, and do not want to move." In the series, it's "I'm abnormal and want my wings taken off." She doesn't think of the conciquences of doing these things. So, ADHD.

Nudge is the perfect example of media being damaging to young adults esteem. Our generation is taking control with the media with things like "Welcome to Nightvale" and "Steven Universe". This is our job, guys. For Nudge.


	32. Letter 22

322) Fang always signs "from [from here to here place]." Why doesn't he say acompletely different area to throw The School off track?

323) How the fuck is Total so cultured? He's been locked in a cage longer then the Flock has, and then stays with them, and they don't keep track of media. So how does Total know more about modern culture then The Flock?! If anything, FANG should know the most, since he's always on that computer!

324) How is Nudge always on top of media stuff? Fang doesn't let others by his computer and there isn't any other ways, so...?

325) Angel has basically every power possible -_-

AN: YOOOOOOOOOOOOO WAZZUP

I am so sorry I have no updated in a million years, I'm working on another story for you guys ;)

To my dearest reviewer/warrior Alyssa: Thank you for telling me, I'm hoping to work with them with something, I didn't even know it existed, I don't really know if it is a coincidence but I think and hope it is, this story isn't really Good enough to copy, anyway :p :)

I hope life has been going well for you, all of my dears. You can talk to me about anything and everything.

love y'all but not in a weird way. Love,

FireStarRD


	33. All Human Fanfictions

Everything wrong with MR fanfictions- including my own. Generizations, of course! All human ones only.

1: Lissa, the popular bitch slut. Always.

2: Max has always been a little different. She dies her hair and listens to emo music.

3: Fang is a player, and he and Max have always been rivals or best friends, before Fang starts falling for Max and she shows him playing with emotions is a shitty thing to do.

4: Dylan is either a complete creep or really romantic!

5: Jeb is a abusive parent!

6: Sometimes, Valencia is too, but not as often

7: Max always makes sure her friends are okay and sacrifices herself for them!

8: Parents/friends don't approve of her relationship with Fang, so she hides it!

9: "You're the first girl I've shown this to, Max."

10: Puns on Max's name.

11: Max, straight, lots of kissing and such

12: limes and lemons


	34. Letter 23

326: As a reviewer said, there is NOOOO difference between how Martinez and Anne treat them, yet Max treats Anne like shit. Hell, Anne is better. SHE didn't give her daughter up to be experimented on.

327: Anne is a great mom, actually. She punishes them accordingly, Max just doesn't like her because she's selfish and wants the flock to herself.

328: Anne seems pretty awesome, but into book 3 and the rest of the series, her demeaned completely changes. I'm guessing this has to do with brainwashing, however, I'm not sure.

328: Anne never dies, but (to my fading memory) she isn't mentioned the last few books. What the actual hell?

329: Okay, I am SOOOO sorry to bring this up, like I don't want to actually brig this up, but, um, my guy friends are like forcing me to put this in- none of the guys ever had time to- er- twister themselves. Or randomly have awkward bonkers. Which, my guy friendssay, in puberty, these are things guys do, which I really DID NOT NEED TO KNOW, THANKS A WHOLE LOT MOTHERFUCKING JEFF

330: No music tastes?

331: Okay, I'm sorry, but the whole falling in love with your bother thing is fucking no. If you are raised with someone like they are your brother, there is NOOOO effing way you are going to fall in love with them. Trust me.

332: The likelihood they would all get along is basically a .0000000000000001% chance, especially with that insane amount of stress

333: What is the point of putting tradable skin over metal? Like... Why? It would slow them down. There is NO. POINT. WHAT. SO. EVER.

334: Maximum Ride's name is an innuendo and no one brings this up? Ever?

335: Why does everyone assume her name is Maxine? Can't she just have the name Max? What if she was trans? You have no clue, you assuming bastards.

336: Ter Borcht calls her Maxine, but he obviously has her file (HE'S LITERALLY HOLDING HER FILE IN HAND WHEN HE CALLS HER THIS?) and has read it to know about these kids, but he still calls her Maxine?

337: Somehow, none of them have mental illnesses. No PTSD symptoms, depression symptoms, and I'm sorry, but that's impossible.

338: They somehow know how to drive.

339: In book three, they get a "love machine" Van. They get rid of the rim around the license plate, but considering it's a HIPPIE VAN IN WILD COLORS, I don't think a license plate rim is going to matter much.

340: I'm pretty sure Fang's head is actually a hotspot

341: Why is there only a chip in Max? That doesn't make any sense, either

342: THE SUDDEN ABILITY TO USE HER ARM AGAIN LIKE WHAT NO ABSOLUTELY NOT

343: Okay, so when they escape with Ari (book 3) Iggy blows up some cars. 1) Wh y didn't he blow up the scientists then? Or, I dunno, used it to blow up the cage to escape? Or blown up the entire school?!

344: And since he had this, IN HIS POCKET NO LESS, it means they didn't search them. Why didn't they search them?!

345: Also, since Iggy had this bomb with him, he would have known it wasn't a dream, but he DOESN'T SHARE THIS WITH ANYONE?! We know he had it before he woke up, since they were in an empty room with no access with anything to make a bomb, so why didn't he share this info?

346: Since they are in an empty room, no beds, why aren't they sore? No kinks in the neck? Anything?

347: They would have smelled like high heaven, why didn't anyone notice this when they were, say, going into resteraunts?

AN: AAAAAH ALYSSA ARE YOU ALIVE AAAAAAH BE SAFE!

Hazard: I will never delete this!

person...?: Thank you for answering some of my questions, they are completely valid. Is it okay if I use your answers for a chapter?

Peace out,

Fire*


	35. James and Hitler!

Okay, so here's the deal. Book three (saving the world and other extreme sports). Let's recap.

There is an army of people who have dehumanized a group of people (mutants) and lock them in camps, starve them, don't give them medical attention, etc. The person in charge is very intelligent, but they use their brains for evil (while also seeming racist and sexist). The person in charge wants to take over the world and destroy some people. This is happening in Germany and moving to surrounding countries. A group from America and some from surrounding countries fights them and wins, but the person in charge escapes and later ends up committing suicide (by causing the end of the world).

Guys. GUYS. JAMES PATTERSON RIPPED OFF THE WORST MONSTER ON THE PLANET.

HE RIPPED OF HITLER.

Max and and the Flock and Fang's fans are the Allies! Itex are the Axis powers!


	36. Letter 24

348: Okay, so Angel and Gazzy's mom seemed to be a drug addict, correct? And considering she looked like one then, she would have been using when she was pregnant. This would have seriously messed the siblings up (something lot like fetal alcohol syndrome) and possibly cut their life short

349: It takes a long time to learn martial arts. A long time. And considering that Jeb was teaching them ENGLISH and SARCASM during four years, I doubt they had time to learn martial arts

350: WHY DID THEY TAKE ANGEL AFTER SO LONG?! Like, why not after Jeb left?! Why then? And why not take the entire flock?!

351: Also, he left during the night (so I assume). But they have super hearing, so why didn't hey wake up? Answer: after four years of comfort, they wouldn't be light sleepers like Max says. They would fall into a lull, and it would be hard to go into the mode they were in when they first moved.

352: They never found Jeb,s body but assumed he died?! How did Jeb get there? Car. So they didn't go "oh, the cars missing, he probs left, let's get out of here!"?! The actual fuck?

353: How did Jeb learn how to build a house?

354: It would take forever to build that house- HOW DID NO ONE NOTICE?!

355: Later in the series, Max and Fang build a house (IN THE SAME PLACE AS THE LAST ONE) but one of their biggest rules is "don't go to a place twice, which they break IN EVERY SINGLE BOOK, so it MUST not be THAT IMPORTANT, so why is it a rule in the first place?

356: You can track where people wrote their blogs from. Evidently, Itex computer people SUCK


	37. James Patterson is a racist dick

Mhm. James Patterson, you are racist. I said it. Let's take a look, shall we?

1\. Two black characters. Two. That's it.

2\. One of the aforementioned characters is named "Ratchet." Unless you've been living under a rock, you know what this means.

3\. Main character, who is apparently Latina, looks completely white. Blonde hair no brown eyes. Um, no.

4\. Ella apparently means "they" in Spanish (I only know German, English and sign language). Is this a hint that Ella is genderqueer/uses they/them pronouns? Regardless, what the fuck?! Why would a woman who is described as having a Spanish accent and knows Spanish NAME HER KID A PRONOUN?!

5\. Okay, this is sexist, but let's count it. After Max's parents conceive her, her mother leaves and become stereotypical mom and Jeb does all the work. The hell?!

6\. Mom makes tacos all of the time. Um, no.

7\. I've read your other books, JAMES. And basically all of your characters are white. No main people of color characters. Ugh!

8\. In Daniel X, you have an evil alien portrayed as "looking Jamaican, with dark skin and long dreads." I CAN'T EVEN-

9\. All of the scientists were white. How do I know this? BECAUSE YOU SAID WHENEVER SOMEONE WAS A RACE OTHER THEN WHITE. IT WASNT, OH "FANG WAS CAUCASIAN WITH LONG BLACK HAIR, AND NUDGE WAS AFRICAN AMERICAN" it was "Fang had long black hair. Nudge was African American with black hair." LIKE NO, YOU SPECIFY ALL RACES, YOU RACIST FUCKER.

10\. Okay, it's really really rare (do I dare say "never happening?) that a Caucasian has natural black hair. So...?! I doubt Fang is white.

11\. Max's other half just so happens to be white.

And while we're at it, here's something wrong with the series: why wasn't anyone in the flock named? Why did they all name themselves? "Get over here, you!" The scientist said. Yeah, no, I doubt that would have happened. They would have been given names.

So we've figured out that you are sexist, rainbowphobic and racist, JAMES "SCREW YOU" PATTERSON. FUCK. YOU.

Tbc,

Fire*

AN/ Yo! So, stuff!

im writing an LGBT Fanfiction (yes, guest, Maya will be a lesbian, lol) called "rainbow haired freak" that you guys should check out if you want to learn more about being queer.

More chapters should be up soon!

Love y'all but not in a weird way! Peace out!


	38. James and Hitler part 2

So, I was thinking about the Hitler thing when something dawned on me. Now, we know that the director was part turtle and apparently _ years old. We also know this is in Germany, and she couldn't have been made perfectly on the first try- there were others before her. There are rumors about the Nazi's doing experiments such as these from the very beginning, and they wanted the "perfect person." Which is what the "white coats" want in the series.

So what if this whole this is Nazi scientists living on and performing more experiments?

Think about it! The US suspected that Hitler escaped, as the skeleton they found burned and thought was Hitler turned out to be a FEMALE SKELETON, THEREFORE NOT HITLER.

They thought he had escaped to another country because they found mazes of tunnels underneath Germany, and found Nazi coins in the rainforest.

So it's possible that Hitler started MORE EXPERIMENTS WHICH LED TO MAX AND THE FLOCK LATER DOWN THE LINE

AT LEAST FOR THE STORY, NOT IN REAL LIFE OBVIOUSLY.

In World War Two, a nazi scientist named Dr. Mengle did the atrocious experiments of making women breed with other animals. Luckily, nothing ever lived. The atrocities died.

But perhaps in this stories timeline, they hadn't. Maybe one survived, or someone found his research papers and continued his work?

Or maybe James just likes World War Two history or something, I don't know. This probably wasn't intentional, but whatever, it happened.

*x-files theme plays* just something to think about, folks.

AN: to my favorite reviewer, Alyssa: girl, you make my day. You go have a freaking amazing year, you hear? Rhymes! :D

love y'all but not in a weird way!

-Fire*


	39. Everything wrong with the Fandom 2

Everything wrong with the fandom 2:

1: The fandom writes about "bipolar Angel," except never written like someone with actual bipolar. Basically, people write ""I have bipolar," Angel told me in a whisper. She immediately started crying. "I'm not a freak!" She suddenly screamed, and threw a chair. Gazzy calmed her down." Sorry guys, this IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT what bipolar is like.

2: Everyone has depression and cuts themselves until they find someone and fall in love and are magically "cured" by the power of love

2: Fang always saves Max from an abusive home. Because yeah, a sixteen year old is going to beat up an experienced (sorry) adult. Really?! Yeah, um, no.

3: Fang always finds Max's scars and force her to tell him, the player, what's wrong, and then he falls in love and makes her promise to stop cutting, because yeah, totally, that'll work. He also goes on and on about how they are "beautiful."

No, I'm sorry, scars are not. They are literally a story of pain. What is beautiful is the fact that there are people who are trying to stop the crimson sentences and go back to writing with words. What's beautiful is life, and happiness. What's beautiful is trying to get over whatever made you do this to yourself. What's beautiful is pulling your head out of you ass and not sugar coating mutilating yourself. Cutting hurts your future, your present. Finding a way to stop cutting is beautiful. But scars are not. They are ugly, scary, depressing things. Find some other way to let out your pain, I implore you.

4: Gazzy and Angel being twins (guilty)

5: Angel looking adorable but BEING SO EFFING EVIL AND DIRTY MINDED.

6: Angel discovers sex and basically has an orgy. Also, really, really badly written lemons.

7: Something crazy happens and then OMG I SUDDENLY HAVE WINGS!1!1!1!1111

8: "I didn't like dresses but all of a sudden I wear a dress and put on makeup and act and look like a completely different person and that's when he realized he loved me lol."

9: Cutting is apparently the only type of self harm!

10: Max leaves the flock and then comes back with new ocs (sub guilty)

11: Max is raped by Ari/erasers (what the fuck you sick bastards)

12: We write like nothing about just Jeb and Ms. Martinez

13: Max has anger issues

14: Nudge is always a girly girl who isn't strong at all.

15: Cookie themed fluff

16: Us writers seem to use the word "retard" a lot. -_- grrrrrr

17: Incest. Holy hell, do you lot write incest.

Hey! Just some things a friend and I noticed about the MR fandom. Tell me what you think in the comments?

Love y'all but not in a weird way,

FireStarRD

Alyssa: Wow, I feel special! I was wondering if you've written any stories of your own? You make my day, so I'm sure your stories would :)


	40. Letter 25

357: Who was Ella's dad?!

358: Iggy's new power of seeing colors is literally useless.

359: They could have just punched Jeb in the throat and that would have broken is Adam's apple, which kills people who have them.

360: Fang, Iggy's, and Gazzy have all been elbowed/punched/kicked in the throat, which would have killed them because of the Adam's Apple dilemma.

361: No one kicked Ari in the groin

362: No one kicked Jeb in the groin.

363: No one kicked Ter Bocht or Doctor Crazy in the groin.

364: No one kicked Dr. Chu lizard thing in the groin.

365: If that laptop kid was homeless, jobless, moneyless, why did he have such a great laptop?

366: Why did no one steal computer kid's laptop?

367: Why didn't Fang recruit this amazing genius kid?

368: How did this kid manage to show up wherever the flock was? LA, subway tunnels, and then the Arizona desert? I think this was a plot point that was never finished.

369: Why was Computer Kid homeless anyways? He was a kid, so he either ran away or was kicked out. Why? Why doesn't any corporation try to recruit him? He's obviously a brilliant hacker.

370: WHY DOES NO ONE WRITE FICS ABOUT THIS KID HE IS LITERALLY BAE OKAY


	41. Character Analyzation: Computer Guy Mike

Computer Kid: Character Analysis

No one actually remembers this kids name. If you were wondering, it's Mike. And here are some things I notice about him.

He's homeless, and since he is so paranoid and has incredible hacking skills and computer, I am guessing that's because he got or is still getting into some serious shit. Add this to the fact the computer he has is REALLY high tech and he knows what Fang's type of computer is even though he STOLE it from a HIGH SECURITY LABORATORY WHERE THE ONES FROM THAT LABORATORY ARE THE ONLY KIND OS THAT LAPTOP IN EXISTENCE, I can assume he either is commissioned by high tech places like the school, or he HACKED INTO the school, which only raises more questions then answers them.

If he knows of the horrible things the school is doing, why didn't he let anyone know? Out them?

Notice the fact that he refuses to tell anyone his name until he realizes that A) Iggy is blind and B) finds out who Gazzy, Fang, and Iggy are from Fang's blog in book two.

Also take the note that he tells the three that he can get a message out to every kid in the ENTIRE WORLD. That, we know, is impossible. I don't care if he says "this virus will send this to everyone's email" there is no way you could only send it to kids emails, and not every kid has an email, so no.

ALSO TAKE IN THE FACT THAT he tells Fang and Co. that he mostly hangs in New York because "it's easier to fit in there", he sees lots of people, he is tall, and HE walks up to Fang and Co. He goes straight to them. He also apparently reads Fang's blog. Why? If he's on the road, why would he take the time to do this? He also apparently has strawberry blonde hair.

He was ALSO in the Arizona Desert when the doomsday group was taking over everyone.

I have a theory, guys. I think he used to be one of the experiments and escaped and was trying to take down the school/itex from the "inside" because he knew that if the government got a hold of the experiments they would not be treated as people, and instead as weapons. The only reason Max and the Flock weren't is because there was to much publicity surrounding them.

He was trying to SAVE THE WORLD LIKE MAX, AND EVERYONE JUST FORGETS ABOUT HIM, WHEN HE IS SO COMPLEX AND BEAUTIFUL!

He tried taking down the doomsday group BY HIMSELF, because he was so scared of being betrayed and hurt (I sense another backstory here) and ends up dying for his efforts.

He helps Fang, but doesn't tell him because Fang and Co. would just end up leaving anyways.

He was probably supposed to be another plot point that JP forgot about because of how many times he shows up, but as you know, JP is great at starting things and sucks at ending them. Honest truth.

Also, just an idea, very unlikely, but maybe he and Iggy are brothers...? No? I didn't really think so either.

unc,

Fire*


	42. Fang is a MASS MURDERER

Fang is a mass murderer, as I've said before, but let's see all the people he's killed:

1: Computer kid Mike. This one is unforgivable. He saw Mike in the desert, brain washed by the doomsday group. Max sees him too. Fang also knows how to help people by this time (showers, though that makes no sense) but doesn't help him. And so he dies. Keep in mind that Mike also helped Fang I DUNNO, DO SOMETHING IMPOSSIBLE AND AMAZING AND THEREFORE FANG IS IN DEBT TO HIM, but Fang really doesn't give a shit at this point.

2: Dylan. TWICE. You decide if this can be forgiven, but personally I think so. Dylan killed himself the first time because Max loved him, and the second time so Fang would live even if he didn't. And Fang never apologizes for this. Sorry, fans of that abusive stalker. Forgivable (?).

3: His fans: part one. He doesn't tell the fans of his blog that the world is ending and to start stocking up on food and building bunkers. Unforgivable. Thanks, asshole.

4: His fans: part two: After the END OF THE FREAKING WORLD, people are using SCARCE MOTOR OIL AND BATTERIES IN THEIR GENERATORS TO GO ONTO HIS WEBSITE. And maybe if they were using this stuff when they NEEDED IT instead of going online they would have survived, but they were checking to see if the flock could help. Then he only replies to ONE PERSON, leaving the rest to wonder and check the site more. Forgivable due to lack of his own power (?). Thanks, asshole.

5: The two boys in the last book. Yup. He takes their guns, gives them a strip of beef jerky, takes the rest of the food and scuddadles. While some argue this might have been necessary, it wasn't. Forgivable (?).

6: His fans: part three: Okay, so his fans attacked the schools/itex corporations in book three, right? And you KNOW that each school had flyboys, so some of these fans HAD to have been killed by some of guards, but they were still fans because Fang is the lesser of two evils, I guess. Unforgivable.

7: Scientists! He tells his fans to go out and destroy the schools, and ends up getting some scientists killed. How we don't know they weren't working on the inside to stop the school?! Forgivable (?).

8: Other experiments! He tells his fans to destroy the schools, and they do- BY SETTING SOME OF THEM ON FIRE. Experiments were locked up in there! HE IS RESPONSIBLE. Unforgivable.

9: His fans: part four: you know that a lot of those people had to go in prison after all the incidents in book three, and the stuff in prison is horrible. Rape, being beat up, sicknesses, no medical attention, etc. Some these kids had to be A) murdered or raped to death in prison, or B) committed suicide because of it. These kids were already mentally and emotionally vulnerable as we see, so it would have been worse. Unforgivable.

10: Innocents: part one: most likely one or two of his MILLIONS OF FANS had a taste of death in book three and craved more, and so they went out and murdered. Or they murdered people they thought were evil. On the line.

11: Innocents: part two: he didn't warn the world that IT WAS ENDING. Unforgivable.

12: Dylan's other other half: He kills Dylan. She probably kills herself. Fun. Forgivable (?).

13: Other experiments part two: He let the other experiments go with that other bird girl! THEY HAVE BEEN LOCKED UP FOREVER THEY DO NOT KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT LIFE FANG WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING

So... yeah guys. Wow. Fang just killed a ton of people!


	43. Fanggirls VS Doomsday group

Fang's fans are HECKING WEIRD. They act JUST LIKE THE KIDS FROM THE DOOMSDAY GROUP! It's like they have been brain washed! Let's see why, shall we?

1: Both believe everything the leader(s) say(s) without question.

2: Both would do anything for their group.

3: Both groups murder for their cause.

4: Both groups are rooting for "the more advanced humans" like mother fucking nazis.

5: Both are run by men.

6: Both started through technology.

7: Both stay with the group even after the END OF THE WORLD.

8: Both want their group to take over/"save" the world.

9: Both groups want to stop pollution and stop what the adults have done to the environment.

10: People from both groups want to have wings/other powers.

I wouldn't be surprised if people from Fang's own group joined/co started the whole doomsday stuff.

Fire*


	44. Powers and DNA percentage

Now, I am no genetic scientist, but I do know enough about it to know that

1: Even if the genetic experiments would have worked, the "powers" they later got would have been related to the animal they were split with. And last time I checked, no birds can detect colors, move things that are magnetic with their pinkie, read minds, shapeshifter, or hack things. And NO bird has gills. So I don't know what was going on there.

2: I also know that 2 percent DNA would not have given them wings. I have even talked to a college professor about it. He literally laughed in my face and said no, at most it would give them amazing eyesight, a shorter lifespan and different fingernails.

So... James, are these BIRD hybrids, or X-men hybrids? Make up your mind, dude!


	45. Three Main Characters

Okay, so, level with me here.

I THINK FANG AND ANGEL ARE ACTUALLY THE MAIN CHARACTERS OKAY JUST LISTEN OKAY!

Okay, so at first most plot lines are around Max, right? But then it changes. In book three, all of a sudden, it starts doing a third person view on Fang as well as the first person through Max.

And then, as soon as the book Fang hits, it is all around Fang. Fang leaving, Fang dying, Fang leaving again, Fang coming back, Fang or Dylan, Fang VS Dylan, Fang and a prophecy, Fang doing twister with Max, Fang then leaving, Fang getting his wings ripped off, Fang traveling the world, Fang dying, Fang coming back to life, Fang living with Max.

Angel betraying Max, not betraying her, almost shooting Max, Angel being sweet, Angel almost dying, Max taking after her like a child, Angel splitting up the group, ANGEL TAKING OVER THE ENTIRE WORLD WHAT THE HECK

A pattern. But after the book Fang, all of the massive plot points are around Fang and Angel. Hell, until "Nevermore," the voice was this huge deal, we thought it was Max's inner dialogue typish thing. But no, it isn't her thoughts, but it WAS a main character, therefore Max isn't entirely THE main character, it's also Angel.

DOES THIS MAKE ANY SENSE?! No wonder the other characters were hardly mentioned, there are actually only THREE main characters, the rest are main background characters.

*heads exploding in distance*

*sigh* I've been watching to much X-Files lately

Love Y'all but not in a weird way,

Fire*


	46. Incest in MR: Part 1, B2: Ari

So, James, we already know that you are one for incest with the fact that the flock was raised like siblings and then FELL IN LOVE, YOU SICKO, but I was re-reading "schools out forever" (AGAIN, Jesus Christ I need to get new books) and I realized something. Ari is really crushing on Max. Yeah yeah, "I'm doing it for my Dad" isn't cutting it.

This is going to be a mini series within this fic, one for each book as I see fit. Incest in the Flock.

1: I quote, "he'd watch the light fade out of her beautiful brown eyes." Beautiful. BEAUTIFUL. Who the hell describes their nemesis eyes as "beautiful" when FANTASIZING ABOUT KILLING THEM?! Also, did you know choking is a kink? It is, and I'm worried and kink shaming you.

2: Ari's fantasies about Max. Period.

3: Max asks Angel what is going on in Ari's head, and Angel replies "Torn, red, angry, dark, confused. He hates us. And he loves you. He loves you a lot." Max then backs out of the room, wondering if he meant like a little kid or a big eraser. Then she says that he should work on sending mixed messages. She doesn't even think about incest at all?! The heck?! Also, it sounds like Ari is really, really jealous of the flock, because they are with her all the time and he isn't. Ummmmmm.

4: I quote, "Cute uniform," Ari sneered, showing his sharp canines, "it's a good look for you." WHOA WHOA WHOA. BACK UP, BUDDY. That is NOT something a little boy who loves someone like a SISTER would say. At least, not like that. Maybe in a "hey, you look nice." Without sneering. This just sounds pervy.

5: I quote, "I'm just playing with you, like a cat with a mouse." Lolololol no. Can you not.

6: THIS ONE IS MESSED UP BUT, I QUOTE, DEAR READER "Slaves. Now that was a fun idea. He would make them do everything- take care of everything. They would bring him food and remind him to take his pills, and Max would rub his shoulders where his wings hurt." Oh, like a god damn married couple, right?

7: I quote, "no one else was as exciting, as challenging as Max." As he talks about fighting. Hell, I love wrestling too, but I'm pretty sure a fully morphed, strong ass eraser (which in book one threw Max over his shoulders and ran off and was too strong for her to do anything, may I remind you) would be more of a challenge, then, say, I dunno, MAX. Or Omega. Basically any other mutant, tbh.

8: I FUCKING QUOTE, "Even on a tiny black and white screen, she was striking. Tall, lean, sandy streaked hair." Oh my god. Oh, my god. I'm going to be sick.

9: Ari runs off, mad at Jeb. He flies and lands on a tree. And then he gets mad because Max looks right through him. I quote, "a low growl rose in his throat as he remembered how Max had kissed that loser on the front porch." He then goes on to say it was like she was a normal girl and how he could "rip that loser in half anytime." He then says that maybe that Sam would go near her even if he knew she was a mutant freak because everyone loved her (true) and, I quote, because "She was so strong- so strong and beautiful and feirce." He then starts crying and mutalating himself, because why the hell not. NO. ARI, YOU TINY CHILD, NO. STOP THIS HORROR, JAMES. HE IS AN EIGHT YEAR OLD BOY, FOR GOD'S SAKES, PLEASE DON'T DO THAT. Though his age can be debated. Does he age in dog years? If so, this makes him an angsty teen in this book.

10: Page 242. Read it. Scream in horror. Cry. Pray to the goddess of writing to destroy this horrid incesty pa ge.

11: He really, REALLY wants to chop off Max's wings and make her live with him. So, no. Even MAX says ick.

Well, more to come with the other books, 'k?

Also, I have put up 8 (going to be 9, as of tonight) chapters with only one review (thanks, Lootmagoot, but is that a bad or good "Oh. My. God.?) We're at 91, can you give up 95? Please? I work hard on this for you, and I don't know what you guys want. Thanks!

Love y'all but not in a weird way!

-Fire*


	47. Financial Crises in MR

These scientists are idiots. All they want is money and to make experiments, right? Well, they made Dylan. They could literally make a ton of them and make a boy band. The new one direction. They could make their soul mates someone on the scientist team or something, and they would give all of their money to the scientists. Because with the rate they are at, they are just loosing money. All of their buildings got destroyed in book three, and a lot of their mutants (the way they were getting money was selling them) died, so how are they even getting money?

Or the people they make could be models, or athletes, ect. Either way, they would get s ton of money, and it's a good idea. How are they getting money? The government isn't funding them, because in book two the FBI asks them about it, and for some reason (?) they don't turn in Jeb and Ari and the school? Anyway, the school is BROKE.

Some of those experiments were failures, so the medical supplies that cost THOUSANDS was just wasted. They also waste their money on mazes and assassinations (book one, Angel has to run through the mazes... Why again?) They are effing BROKE. A few more years and the school would have been GONE.


	48. Soulmates don't exist is MR

Soulmates. They are aaaaall over the Maximum Ride series. All over. Seriously. But let's take a moment and go back to something. The scientist that made Dylan said he was based off another Dylan, and that Dylan is the one that had a gun attached to his arm and tried to assassinate Max and her flock. Of course, he failed, and BLEW HIMSELF UP FOR IT. So both Dylans already have looks and suicidal tendencies in common.

But since our soulmate Dylan doesn't have a gun on his arm (that we know of ;) he is based off of him in terms of looks, which raises a question or two. Why would they take the time of making a GUN ARMED ASSASSIN HANDSOME? Why?! Then he' soling to fit in even less! Just make him look normal, for gods sakes, that just wastes more money!

But, if Max love(s/d) "soulmate" Dylan, would she have also loved gun-arm Dylan?

And Dylan's soulmate. Now, Dylan is incredibly loyal to Max. Ridiculously loyal. But his isn't. In fact, she actually helps Fang EVADE Dylan, which isn't loyal at all. She also is a red head, and completely different than Max, which makes me wonder if this girl is actually _Fang's_ soulmate?

Why weren't Soulmates made for anyone else?

And this could actually be possible, if pheromones were released whenever you saw a certain someone. But everyone loves Max. Harry, Dylan, Sam, Fang. Is it possible that _Max_ releases a certain pheromone? If so, why aren't Iggy/other girls/guys/non gendered peeps like moi effected? Do the pheromones only target certain people, such as those "suitable" for mating? Who knows.

ALSO, the "Soulmates" don't have any common interests with these they were designed for!

Either way, this isn't adding up.

Love y'all but not in a weird way,

Fire*


	49. Letter 26

Back to the final warning! Yes, I finally re-read this monstrosity. And here are some things I noticed.

370: Max sees Fang carrying Total as they FLY AWAY FROM DEATH. Suddenly, Max is hit by a boulder, and she falls. And Fang catches her. But two,sentences ago he was carrying a dog. He couldn't have passed it off, and Total couldn't fly at that time, so... Fang, stop killing your house pets.

371: Since they've been hit in the head so many times, they are all suffering severe brain damage, possible whip lash, and multiple concussions.

372: Angel not asking for consent before going into people's heads. No, seriously, page eleven. Max clearly states she doesn't give consent for her to do this, and she can control it.

373: It's literally the end of the world and we're still on the "Dylan or Fang" debacle.

374: It says the Creyenas were three times the size of Great Danes, which meant they were bigger then the flock.

375: The Creynas are robots, but it states many a time that "they are crazed with hunger." Why are ROBOTS hungry?!

376: Max attacks the Creynas with water from the sink. How is the water working? No ones at the water plant. Everyone seems to be dead.

377: Explosion that stunned the Creyenas would have burst the Flock's eardrums

378: Okay, so they hear some animal howling "fairly close" when they buried Akila, right? Yet Fang and Max do the twister and the monsters still don't attack. Instead, they are kind of getting slightly close to the Flock when Fang leaves that morning.

379: Angel's a mind reader. She knows exactly everything that happened between Fang and Max. Yikes!


	50. Letter 27

380: People posting death selfies instead of calling loved ones. Also, who did they expect to see it?

381: "Fotogram."

382: Page 49, it says Jumpin Joanie declares that she'll give the flock six jugs of water. IT IS THE APOCALYPSE. BLOG FANS ARE NOT THAT DEDICATED. I DO NOT CARE HOW MUCH YOU LOVE A CELEBRITY, THIS WOULD NOT HAPPEN.

383: We never meet that person the Flock talked to on his blog.

384: It says that the Flcok is only the second hybrid to be successful, which is a complete and utter lie and makes NO SENSE. JAMES, HAVE YOU EVEN READ YOUR OTHER BOOKS?

385: Dr. Freak says the flock is seven to fifteen years old. OH. MY. GODS. There is no way. Max and Fang and Dylan and Iggy are fifteen. No. Oh my gods. NO. There is no way Max met the love of her life, saved the world, and got pregnant at fifteen. Also, didn't she turn seventeen? So she would at LEAST be sixteen.

386: Dylan feels bad because his replacement girl was literally made for him and he could never love her, yet doesn't realize how similar the two of them are.

387: Dylan runs out the doors, and the guards start shooting at him... Why again? They obviously trust him throughout the book until the actual WAR, so why are they shooting? He didn't do anything, he is "following his mission" as they see it.

388: "Horseman" calls himself Horseman in his inner dialogue, not his actual name.

389: Gazzy starts making fun of his sister, which is really new. From what we have seen of Gazzy, he feels bad for anything he does, and considering its kind of his fault his sister almost died two books ago, he should be very protective. Also, in the past, he has NEVER been jealous of his sister, and the two have been very close. It was very hard for Gazzy to leave Angel in book three, but there's a sudden turn around and Gazzy is incredibly rude to Angel about her powers. It says that Max thinks there must have been some tension between the two recently, but it never says what. It also doesn't explain that prior to this chapter, in every book there was a tough moment Gazzy always seemed to look after his sister. So why isn't he this time? He is acting like a brat, which is not the Gazzy we know and love.


	51. Short letter 28

390: Gazzy tells Angel that she acts childish and then acts like she knows everything depending on the situation to manipulate everyone, which is entirely true, and no one but an NINE YEAR OLD (ten?) notices this fact.

391: Iggy blames Max for Dylan and Akila's death

392: Iggy is incredibly rude... Why again? Yeah, you know what, Iggy had time to get over Ella. He barely knew her, so saying "he's grieving" is no excuse.

393: Angel then agrees with Iggy! But only inside Max's head, so she wouldn't have proof and so Fang wouldn't get mad! You tiny demon!

394: How does Angel know nightmares from visions?

395: Angel says the seeing the future stuff happened after the scientists operated on her eyes, but then what was all of the "Fang must die" stuff earlier in the series?

396: Sweetie, I don't think eye switching causes future seeing, otherwise everyone who had surgery on catalacts would be telling us about WW3.


	52. Opinions on MR part one

Opinions on MR: Normal text= Fire. _Italics is Bat._

 _Hey, everybody! I don't write this fic much so you probably don't here from me often. Sorry._

Bat is just an adorable little kiddo, as much as they try to deny it.

 _Shut up, Fie!_

JThey're blushing. Okay, we took some opinions from our reviewers and such, as well as PMed some other MR Fanfiction writers (may I recommend Silenceisgolden15) and have made a pie chart. Here it is!

People who think that Maximum Ride is perfect, how dare you insult them, you horrible, hated writers of EWWMR!: 15%

People who read it because friends made them and honestly are neutral: 5%

People who only like the first three: 20%

People who dislike/like/flittering in between it but are obsessed: 5%

People who like the idea but not how it was written: 8%

People who hate it entirely: 2%

People who dislike it after the fourth book: 10%

People who just enjoyed it like normal people and didn't really go into it to much: 15%

 _So yeah, that's our fandom._ It's pretty shocking, us obsessed peeps only make up 2 percent. Damn. We need to recruit. _That's a horrible idea. No. Do not do that. We don't need more people messed up like us._ Okay, true.

Our opinions, next chapter! Love y'all but not in a weird way!

Fire* and /\\(^-0)/\


	53. Opinions on MR part two

Opinions on MR part two!

Bat and Fires opinion: (written as one person, because we are lazy)

Maximum Ride was the first fandom I ever joined. I remember reading the book outside next to the grill, unsure if I liked it, and then then falling in love with the series. I remember finishing the book after allergy shots, driving over quickly to half price to buy the next two.

I remember loving Max. I remember loving her because she was strong, and a tomboy, and kickass. I loved her because she was kind, and smart, and caring, and romance wasn't her first plan.

i remember the feeling of elation as I wrote my very first fic, ever.

I remember being devastated because James turned her into a damsel, and I remember crying in Nevermore when he writes her dead, and I remember finishing the series and throwing the book because I was so mad. I remember loving the book, because it was written well, yet it isn't, because there is so much wrong.

I remember happily holding the horribly dog eared book three yet again, the soft feel of well read pages.

I remember when Bat and I wrote the first chapter of this story in the cafeteria of our school, and our many conversations over the phone.

Maximum Ride WAS good. It was about saving the environment, about stoping capitalism and the corrupted part of the government and educating yourself, and being yourself no matter what. But it was destroyed after book three.

So we will continue to write. It's our duty.

 **Also, dear guest who said you hated us, even though you probs won't read this:**

Yeah, um, sweetie? There's tons of things wrong with Maximum Ride. Read the damn Fanfiction before telling us how much you hate us and saying "omg you meanies I hate you and I hate this fic there is nothing wrong with her!" because you obviously didn't read chapter one. This story isn't just about Max, it's about the series. You also know NOTHING about us, so stop being a cowardly bully and just IGNORE THE FIC.

You also reviewed chapter 49, so I'm guessing you read up to that point, so you must have some SEVERE dedication to read stuff you hate! Good job!

Love y'all but not in a weird way! Thanks, 'Lyssa!

Fire* and Bat


	54. Short letter 29

397: If the flyboys are so high tech, and used to help the environment, why aren't they solar paneled?

398: In book three, you know when the flock is kidnapped and put in the back of a van? They can all fly, and driving wastes time, gas, and money, and also pollutes, which is the problem. So why are they driving again?

399: When they are velcroed to the table, they could bend and undo the Velcro with their teeth

400: If the rest of the documents were in code, why is THE NAME KF THE SCIENTISTS, something that could impression him for life or get him KILLED kept NORMAL?! Also, why was his name the first word?

401: The fact that I have barely even touched the third book yet and WE'RE STILL GOING STRONG. THIS IS NUMBER FOUR FUCKING HUNDRED.

402: Anne points out if Maximum's family got in the wrong hands the country could be in danger. YOU DON'T SAY.

403: Like, to be honest, it would be really easy to manipulate the flock. These scientists are horrible.

404: They are selling weapons so the person can turn around and kill them. Do they not realize they live in the country the country they are selling weapons to is the one they are going to destroy?

405: FANG TELLS MAX IN BOOK TWO TO "MAYBE GIVE IT A FEW YEARS BEFORE YOU BECOME A MOM." WELL, SHE WOULD HAVE, IF YOU WEREN'T A HORNY ASS AND I AM SO MAD ABOUT THIS SEGMENT UGH


	55. Another theory! Ari is invincible

405!

 ** _Four. Oh. Five. And we aren't even done yet._**

Holy shit. Ho. Ly. Shit. We aren't even done yet, and- just. Wow. Holy cow. This is amazing. I can't believe it, we did it. We're still going. Hell, it's probable that we'll reach 450+! MAYBE EVEN 500. OH MY GOD, IF WE COME UP WITH FIVE HUNDRED THINGS WRONG, I AM LITERALLY GOING TO CRY FROM HAPPINESS. HAPPINESS AND HORROR.

I CAN'T EVEN THANK YOU ENOUGH.

We have hit, to my knowledge, the one hundred review mark. We have hit the 50 chapter mark. This is the longest story we have ever written, and this is just... Wow. Holy shit you guys. One flame?! On this type of tale?! Oh. My god!

I owe you all for not hating me. Thanks, ya'll.

So I'm going to get off of my soapbox and give you another kickass theory, okay? Letssss go!

 **THEORY STARTS HERE! :D**

So, yes! I think Ari is actually the invincible one! Why?

He is ALWAYS coming back to life. Which, one, no, but it happens! It happens. It happens. So why is Fang?

Remember the beach? Or when he clawed him in book two and had to go to the hospital? I think some of Ari's blood (Ari had been hurt by then) got into Fang's bloodstream. At the hospital, the doctors assumed it was just another weird thing about him, but when Dr. Weirdo tested him he relied it was different then other samples, and found it out.

Though im not sure how that makes any sense. How would you know something in your blood made that person invincible? But I digress.

So, yes. Ari is invincible, whatever, yada yada, bye.

:D


	56. Letter 30

406:book three, people start recognizing them from cameras, but they were moving to fast for people to catch them. Also, does everyone in the universe believe everything they hear? Are they're no skeptics?! Everyone would think this wasa hoax.

407: Max rains on Nudge's parade because she's a bad feminist. She's not "let people do what they want with THEIR bodies", she's "I don't like this certain person looking admiring another person so I am going to body shame you." Fight me, Max. Also, I'll be counting this again later. You have been warned.

408: Max makes a point about how horrible the world is going to be like after the end of the world and is totally correct. Fang kicks back and makes fun of her being right.

409: Max never weaves clothes out of plant fibers

410: Fang literally only kisses Max to change her mind. Read it. Seriously. Only reason. Asshole. *Bat is now yelling about the patriarch over email at me, so just ignore her* (page 53)

411: Nudge kicks a robot in the groin and it reacts like a normal boy. Um... It's a robot. So what the hell.

412: Nudge says her ribs felt broken- never mentioned again!

413: When did they say grace at Anne's? I checked. Never. But Max mentions it.

414: OKAY EW SORRY TO WRITE THIS HELL OF A SENTENCE EW EW EW BUT in Fang he calls Max a regular teeth banger and on page 57 b3 he calls her soft and ew no aaaaah continuity errors.

415: Fang says the canyon the rest of the flock was "easy to defend" which, no, it's a canyon, so no.

416: After the first flyboys attack, the flock STAYS there? Why?! They could have left a message to Max and Fang in that weird language they no!

417: Weird language never mentioned again after book two, even though it would be seriously useful

418: They took a car

419: Angel was missing in the truck, so where was she? They weren't at the location yet, and Jeb wasn't there, so... Where?

420: Max says that Martinez and Ella didn't save her life or anything, but they literally did.

421: Martinez see's Max because she was leaving the house. Where was she going?

422: Why was the dog locked outside?

423: Fang doesn't recognize the smell of cookies.

424: Fang encourages Ms. Martinez to take out the chip

425: She couldn't have asked a more experienced person to do it?

Aaawe! Alyssa, I hope it goes okay! I miss you! I'm sure we can make it, thanks! MAGIC!


	57. Slut shaming

SLUT SHAMING IN MAXIMUM RIDE, AKA ME JUDGING THE FANDOM AND LOW KEY JAMES BECAUSE SCREW SEXISM.

Hi. I'm calming down. Promise! But let's talk about slut shaming in MR, shall we?

Lissa. Everyone is sitting here going "Lissa's a slut." First off, excuse me, fuck you. Pardon the vulgarity, but are we really going to attack women? Really? May I remind you that Fang is a complete and utter playboy and no one jumps down HIS throat (except every girl he's with, hardy har har, sorry)? Seriously. HE kissed LISSA BACK, and that's FINE, because he and Max weren't a THING. SO WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE HER?!

Fang led her on, so leave her be. She's just another one of his casualties. Remember him watching all of the girls at the beach and the cheerleaders at the stadium (I'll talk about this in a later chapter)? Remember how he LEFT HIS GIRLFRIEND TO BASICALLY BE WITH HER TWIN? And NO ONE CARES?! If it was a girl doing it, everyone would call her a slut, a whore, etc., but since it's a boy it's fine? Yup. Thank you society. Your logic is flawless, you genius. Note the sarcasm.

Oh, did you know people are calling MAX a whore? Because of the Fang vs Dylan debocale? I can't even dignify this with a response, sarcastic or no.

Hell, MAX slut shamed Nudge when she said she wanted to be a cheerleader because "it was a sexist sport," which it kind of is, but it's NUDGE'S BODY. Max doesn't get to decide what Nudge does with her body, because it's HER FUDGING BODY. Ugh. Bad feminist alert. She also hates it that Nudge likes stereotypically feminine things. MAYBE she likes it because she wants to be like a "normal girl"a no in the media if you aren't skinny and don't like makeup and aren't perfect then you aren't so and so "normal", because forget about the fact that a majority of teens have some sort of mental illness, are queer like me, write FANFICTION and like FANDOMS, not drugs and sex. So, MAX, you can shut the fuck up and let Nudge be happy for once in her miserable life, okay?

And does anyone remember Chari? No, yeah, James didn't either. JJ basically went "hey, sit with me so you don't have to mess with Chari!" I heard one person bring up that it wasn't Lissa who was the sl*t, it was Chari, and whoever said that, screw you. Yes, let's stop slit shaming one character so we can slut shame ANOTHER character! Here, let me IMPROVE your slut shaming. *loud screaming into the void*

I'm sorry. More chapters coming soon, I just needed to get this off of my chest. Bye, love y'all. Alyssa, all of us weird, awesome procrastinating teens are just that- procrastinating! And I'm nit that good at stories! But thanks! And no, I'm the same age as you!

UNC,

Fire*


	58. Incest in MR: Max and Fang: part 1

Here again we tackle "incest in Maximum Ride: Fax edition."

Why are we discussing this? Because it's freaky as hell and needs to be addressed that this isn't okay. Let's go over when she calls him her brother and such, shall we? Let's start with book three, because that's what I have with me currently.

book three, page 52: " **I'd grown up with him** , I trusted no one more then him."

Chapter 28, page 79, Ella asks if Fang is Max's boyfriend (I'll mention this in another chapter) and Max replies with, I quote, "Fang? No! No, no. No. I mean, we grew up together, so we're more like... Uh, siblings." Note, this is after she kissed him on the beach and he kissed her in the cave and... No. Can we please, please not. No southern jokes, please.

I'll put more down below, but for now, let's look at side effects of incest, even if it's voluntary (which, by the way, I'm fucking kink shaming you if you're into that.)

Psychology wise, reasons they wouldn't have fallen in love!

Being raised by the same set(s) of parents [Jeb] has a physiological effect of biology not wanting to be with another raised by that set. This is because biology basically set off "no no no no no!" Warnings and hormones in our brain when we see someone being raised and cared for by our own parents or guardians (Jeb).

Women dislike incest more because nature wants women to make babies essentially. In a study known as the "smelly t-shirt study" woman tested were found to like the smell of men most genetically different (you can look it up, I'd encourage you to). And woman with people who have similar DNA are often less satisfied with their partners and are statistically more willing to cheat (lololololol the whole Dylan and Fang debocale). And since Max and Fang most likely have very similar ones (BIRDS BIRDS BIRDS BIRDS) it wouldn't have happened.

Book one, The Angel Experiment:

Book Two, Schools Out- Forever:

I quote, page 27, "His name is... Nick. Nick, um, Ride. He's my brother."

I quote, page 29, "He's my brother."

I quote, page 45 "Your brother, Nick..."

I quote, page 150, "He was like my- brother. I mean, he wasn't my brother, not really, But he was LIKE a brother. Yes. That was it.

I quote, page 171, "You're Nick's sister, right?" "Uh-huh."

I quote, page 196, "Gosh, five brothers and sisters." "Yeah. What about you."

UUUUUUUGH CAN WE STOP

I AM GOING TO CRY

LIKE I NEED TO DO THE OTHER BOOKS LATER I AM NO

ALSO I STARTED A TUMBLR FOR THIS HEYO! It's called "everythingwrongmrstyle" and it's horrible shit and I urge you to submit your bitter hatreds to me

Alyssa: bad vocabulary my butt, you are fantastic and amazing and I hope you had a good Valentine's Day!

Lootmagoot: THANK YOU MY FEIRY ANGER KEEPS ME WARM IN THIS COLD FORSAKEN STATE ALSO LIKE I AM GLAD WE SHARE IT OR WE WOULD BURN IN A FEIRY BLAZE because not only are we full of spite we are hot as hell, am I right? Yes. I am.


	59. Letter 31

426: Mrs. Martinez has no maternal instinct and OPERATES ON HER DAUGHTER, ON SOMETHING SHE DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO DO

427: The fly boys give them rotten fruit and then laugh cruelly. Why? Also, we see later they act like stereotypical robots, with no senses of humor, etc., so what?

428: Also, why was Angel gone during this scene? Where was she? In the front? How did the robots know do to this? You literally cannot reason with them? So who decided to let her go?

429: Why did the robots get out, anyways? They don't have to use the bathroom, they weren't getting gas, they could have thrown food to them through the weird grate, so why?

430: Iggy is suddenly depressed and a shitty leader. Why? He isn't again.

431: It says it took Angel weeks to recover, but considering we were with Angel in the book and SAW HER FOR WEEKS AFTER PERFECTLY FINE, what are they talking about? Yeah, it SHOULD have, but it didn't!

432: Why does Ella's PUBLIC SCHOOL have a freaking CHRISTMAS DANCE?

433: It tries to explain panic attacks and FAILS MISERABLY. James, stop, please.

434: "things like common sense don't usually affect my decisions." I quote. Wow, nice leadership roles, Max.

435: Max wants to get the flock cell phones, which, no. GPS? Tracking? MONEY?


	60. Letter 32

436: Fang thinks Martinez is evil because she has a book on recombinant DNA theory. Couldn't she have just have been curious after meeting Max?

437: Yeah, again, the Max we know would have stubbornly gone to meet Nudge and Fang no matter what

438: Why did Fang need a paper clip? For his hair, probably.

439: Why would Martinez keep those things together, anyway?

440: Why the hell did she have a picture of the Gasman?

441: Why do they still trust her after this?!

442: WHY IS THIS NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN OR EXPLAINED?!

443: Nudge only hates Jeb because Max hates him (it literally says this, page 98, book three obviously that's what I'm writing about now)

444: The reason Max dive bombs and attacks the robots is because Fang says she loves him, but not after seeing her family beat up, because, you know, priorities.

445: How is Max knocked out? Fang hasn't reached the ground yet, why? He doesn't help why, again?

446: Angel says the last life forms are being terminated, except for, you know, all the ones Max sees when being wheeled around

447: EAT THE GOD DAMN COOKIES YOU NEED YOUR STRENGTH

448: Also, grandma scientist acts surprised when Total talks. How do they explain that?

449: Anne is suddenly really OOC for the rest of the series? Huh?

450: What is the POINT of telling them it's a dream? Unless it is? THIS IS THE MOST CLICHE, SO WHAT THE FUCK


	61. Letter 33

451: Anne's points about the dream make little sense. This is impossible. Unless this is a dream to see how many loopholes they can find. Which is none.

452: He turns her wrist around in the straps, it would be so easy to undo them that way, why doesn't she?

453: Why aren't they looked in crates or with the straps later?

454: Max doesn't even come up with all of the dream/real possibilities and I'm still pissed about this.

555: If they had been in a dream there would be tons of muscle deteriation.

556: They could have bent and undo the wrist straps with their teeth.

557: How do you make a dream within a dream?

558: Why is she thinking philosophy when they could be escaping instead?

559: Ari could be lying about the lead bars, but she doesn't even try.

560: Ari comes, and instead of waking the flock and rushing them, Max whispers his name and goes with him quietly. And why is he coming for her in the middle of the night?


	62. Crap chapter

Everything story we want to know about the MR universe but will never get to read: a summary

1: Explainging how Valencia and Jeb met

2: R. G U Y. M I K E

3: What ever happened to J.J.?

4: Why Lootmagoot likes beans?

~There WILL BE a chapter soon. I just finished my play today. So I don't have to worry about memorizing lines. Perfect timing!

-Fire


	63. Corrections part three

Corrections to our fic:

Corrections for Bat:

Ratchet is never refer reread to as a race. This was something told to us in our reviews and it's our fault for not checking.

Corrections for Fire:

The boy with the gun attached to his arm is NOT named Dylan! Whoops!

(this raises even more questions but oh well)

Add in the spelling, grammar, repetitiveness and number errors and we've got it covered.


	64. Letter 34

Hey! We're going to start on the book "Max" here, so heads up!

561: "This was almost too easy. It wasn't sporting." Um, hello? Assassin? Do you KNOW how many people have failed to kill them? Stop taking your time!

562: He wasn't born with a gun on his hand, because he says "one could get used to not having a right hand." So how did they connect a gun to his BRAIN and his NERVES? Easy, they CANNOT DO THAT

563: "And the flock could not survive without its leader." *muffled laughter*

564: Angel didn't warn anyone BEFORE he shot, only as he was doing it. Why?! They could have avoided Total getting shot in the first place!

565: Total's wound doesn't get infected, when they just put a bandaid on it

566: Max calls Angel Lamby. No, that's Nudge, from book three.

567: "A look passed between us, full of suppressed humor, relief, understanding, _love-"_ Oh, sweetie. I'm so sorry. Jame has started his killing of you. Hold on, it's going to be a wild ride.

568: Max refuses to let the talent agent call her Max. What else is he going to call her? She doesn't have any other names! AAAH!

569: Why does Nudge OWN a skirt?

570: NUDGE WEARS THIS SKIRT TO FLY

571: WHY DOES ANGEL OWN A TUTU? IN WHAT INSTANCES WOULD THESE THINGS BE USEFUL?!

572: Max tells the flock to get out of firing range, but snipers can get you from OVER A MILE

573: So Max and the flock come out, right? Do you really think no one would ask questions? That anyone that Max talked about wouldn't be apprehended, killed, taken in by other countries on asylum? Do you REALLY THINK Jeb would be let free when they [the government] found out what he had done? No, he wouldn't, he would have been tortured for info then killed. Simple.


	65. Letter 35

574: The talent agent asks their names, which raises a lot of questions. It says that they were booked for an interview, so he KNOWS who he's interveiwng. These people are also famous, so it doesn't make any sense for the adults not to know. He also knew Max's name a page before this, so if he knew hers, why not Angel's?

574: When Angel answers this, she replies "Isabella von Frankenstein Rothschild." Why? She's already famous, so why make a fake name? Why add Frankenstien, the name of in insane doctor who is basically a white oat, your arch nemesis to your name? And if it wasn't a nod to the doctor but an incorrect nod at his monster, why associate yourself with it anyway? Is there a point?

575: Gazzy responds by says that people call him Sharkalator. Once again, why the heck would you create fake names in the situation? They already KNOW who you are because they BOOKED AN APPOINTMENT WITH YOU.

576: Iggy makes lowkey racist comment. "They call me the white knight." "Whys that?" (Iggy gestures at himself) "well they aren't going to call me the black knight." Okay, yes, this is actually kind of funny but still lowkey racist, so Bat is calling it out.

578: Bat also thinks the fact that Nudge says her name is actually "Cinnamon Allspice La Fever" is racist, considering that's how her skin tone is described sometimes.

579: They were incredibly rude to them for no fucking reason. No, it doesn't make them look cool, they acted like childish brats for no reason. The people there were incredibly nice to them, and the woman probably lost her job because Angel was a rude ass seven year old.

580: Max says the whole reason they couldn't have an article telling everyone to not pollute is because she's been told to save the world. Um, Max? Sorry to burst your bubble where you never think ahead, but telling people to stop polluting might, I dunno, fucking help you.

581: Max freaks out because someone wants them dead, even though that's literally the plot for every book in this series.

582 part one: The fact I have to do an entire chapter on Fang and Bridget. Ugh.

582 part two: Fang's invisibility powers mentioned and used, but forgotten after this book. *crying sounds and muffled angry screeching*

583: Max says her hear is brown again. I'm so confused. Is it brown with blonde streaks (if so, it should be sun bleached blonde?!), just brown (see past parentheses), or blonde? James, make up your mind!

584: Max quotes "fox in socks." How does she know about this book?

585: "No ones getting married! Not in a box, not with a fox!" Total's marriage ideas are literally brought up in this book can we just-


	66. Letter 36

586: "You've never seen a megalopolis until you've seen Mexico City." YOU'VE BEEN TO NEW YORK OH MY GOD

587: Yet another racist thing. Page 40 (so many sins with so little pages), the last paragraph, is, I quote, "We joined the rest of the flock on the green turf and then all automatically circled, facing outwards, as if we were six (and a half) cute little covered wagons warding off Indians who were inexplicably ticked off that we'd taken all their land and given them colds and killed most of them."

There were quite a few things I'd like to address here, so let's go in order of things I'm least ticked off about.

1) Covered Wagons? Ah, yes, covered wagons, the inanimate objects with wheels fought off people and gave humans diseases. You tried for a metaphor and failed. We all know what you trying to get at, but stop trying to be fancy because this just does not work.

2) Colds. Oh, yes. Motherfucking colds. Oh, sure James, the Natives are pissed because we gave them a runny nose and sore throats! It's not like we gave them chicken pox, the flu, or every other happened to kill a bunch of them! That's just idiotic!

3) Politically incorrect, much?

4) "Stole their land." In other terms, a simplistic way of saying we lied to them, stuck them in internment camps, had the GOVERNMENT lie and steal from them (not that different from what they're doing to us now, hahahahaha), forced them to walk for weeks to life in land it's incredibly hard to function in, ect.

5) Yes James, THAT'S why they are mad! It's not like we RAPED them to death! Or anything! That we're the worst peices of shit and committed GENOCIDE to the indigenous peoples! No! That's just RIDICULOUS.

I cannot BELIVE the editor let that shit slide.

588: Seven of them took on sixty or so M-Geeks. Yeah... No.

589: Max gets mad they tore her jacket, not that they are attacking her family. Because priorities!

590: Apparently all truck drivers are all disgusting and gross?

I'll respond to comments in the morning, I'm exhausted, sick, I have school, and this book is passing me the fuck off as you can see by my swearing. I love y'all, thanks for sticking with me. Sweet dreams.


	67. Letter 37

591: Where is Ella through of all of this? Valencia goes missing and that's the end of her.

592: Max says she never thought of Jeb as her father, which we know is a lie. She thought of him as her father for a long time, actually.

593: Jeb says the day and night school is one of the only places they will fit in. Really? Why? Are there other mutants?

594: In another sense, why would school curriculums be useful to them? Catching up on 14, 15 years of missed school would be hard to do, and what would it be useful for for their life style, anyway? There is no point. They know what they need to know.

595: WHY DOES NO ONE JUST ASK JEB HOW OLD THEY ARE? HE'S MAX'S DAD, HE KNOWS!

596: Maximum "I'm a good person" Ride making fun of a kid's name.

597: Let's talk about the mother fucking trampoline. It makes no sense. One, she must have hit it dead center, because if she had it near the side at her velocity she would have tipped the fucking thing, but that's not even one of the major points. Let's split it up, shall we?

1) Max didn't fall straight down, she would have fell at an angle. And she didn't go in a usual angle, either. Remember, she tried flying and ended up changing her trajectory. So how the hell did they have the perfect angle? There is NO WAY they were carrying that giant thing around, so they must have known exactly where she was going to be, which, once again, HOW?!

2) How did they set up a giant fucking trampoline and have NO ONE SEE THEM?!

3) She would have broken it! Or gone through! Like seriously this makes NO SENSE I couldn't not be angrier right now!

4) As she's falling she doesn't see the trampoline/and or M-Geeks?

5) She goes at hyper speed, so how the hell were they able to aim for her (FLAPPING, nevertheless!) wing?!

6) Her wings are also in synch, so how does it only hit one?

598: Max get shot, kidnapped, and taken to a large room. And she decides to just... Take a nap. WHAT?!

599: Max thinks chess is dumb. Or at least chess playing computers.

600:

1) The fact we are only on page 62 of "Max" and I still have more sins?

2) The fact we've gotten this far?

3) The villains in this series are always the same. Either very, very insane, or are childish adults who cannot control their tempers, or wolf robots. They also always have a slight accent and assume they are better then everyone and thing, and undermine the flock; always put themselves on the level of gods. There is no character development of these people, it is always the very same.

SO YUP. SIX FREAKING HUNDRED. HOLY COW.

loge you all but not in a weird way! See you soon!

-FireStarRD

-Bat


	68. Letter 38

601: How do you set a wing?

602: They're tracking everyone but Max. How? Why?

603: They basically stage a mutiny on Max and go to the day and night school. No way that Fang would go along with this, I'm calling bs.

604: Team Leader never mentioned again,

605: Team leader says he lost a lot of good men, but he only lost robots, so what?

606: In no way does Mr. Chu make Itex look like Sesame Street.


	69. The biggest sin

Dear person who asked why we were doing this: Maybe we could have looked over all of these sins if it hadn't been for one major one.

In the start of every Maximum Ride book is this disclaimer, worded exactly as:

The idea for Maximum Ride comes from earlier books of mine called _When The Wind Blows_ and _The_ _Lake_ _House_ , which also feature a character named Max who escapes from a quite despicable School. Most of the similarities end there. Max and the other kids in Maximum Ride are not the same kids in those two books. Nor do Frannie and Kit play any part in Maximum Ride. I hope you enjoy the ride anyway.

First off, after books and before nor there should be a comma instead of a period, but that's not the problem. Why not? Because the similarities DON'T end there. And that's a problem.

Let's go over it, shall we?

First off, let me tell you we were only able to get our hands on the second book in that two book series, and it is appalling. Why? Look!

1\. Six bird kids with a girl named Max as the leader.

2\. Max has blonde hair.

3\. They have been genetically experimented on to have bird DNA and wings

4\. The person who saves them after Max is shot at is a vet.

5\. Max is short for Maximum

6\. The group of kids call themselves "a flock"

7\. The place they were experimented on is called The School

8\. At the school, they were kept in dog cages

9\. They didn't tell the women who had them what they had done to the infants and told them their children had died

10\. The kids somehow escaped the school (not explained)

11\. Four year old twins (kind of like Angel and Gazzy)

12\. One is named ICARUS. Doesn't sound like Iggy AT ALL.

13\. Somehow they aren't feral and are very articulate

14\. Matthew is sort of a pyro from what we saw

15\. Max and another flock member fall in love even though Max is fucking twelve and they were raised as siblings

16\. They are being hunted!

17\. They spill everything to the media even though Max doesn't want to

18\. Another Jeffery. If there's another Jeffry in his other books I'm going to scream because THERES TWO IN MR, WHY IS THERE ANOTHER ONE, USE OTHER FUCKING NAMES OKAY I DON'T KNOW WHY THIS FRUSTRATES ME SO MUCH

19\. The doctor is like Dr. Gunther Hagaan in his "do this to save the world!" bullshit. It's basically the same plot line I'm not even kidding

20\. They find their real parents but like each other and their imprinted parents much more (Martinex, anyone?)

And so much more. So much more. I'm angry thinking about it. Because he wrote a Fanfiction AU with his own characters, changed it for teens, and viola! New bestseller! He isn't even original, and that makes me so angry because this is what we call "number one." Number ONE. No. Recycling your material doesn't make you number one. No wonder there's so many plot holes and loose ends in MR, he probably got them confused with these two damnable books!

AN:

Alyssa: HEEEEY GIRL what's up? How are you? And no, you aren't crazy, I did add four chapters in one night. Guess what? I'm on Valium currently so I'm hoping I'm not rambling. You seem awesome and I wish we could talk!

Lootmagoot: HAHAHA I know. I'm horribly petty when it comes to this series. I was laughing for a good two minutes at that review, thanks.

Guest: YOU'RE MAKING A JEB AND VALENCIA FIC OH MY GOD. OH, MY GOD. TELL ME THE NAME I'M GOING TO CRY?

More sins coming soon. Love y'all but not in a weird way!

Unc,

FireStarRD


	70. Dylan is a sexual assaulter

Times Max said no to Dylan and Dylan kept advancing:

FANG, chapter 21, page 73: "Dylan, no-stop."

ANGEL, chapter 3, page 12, ""Get your hands off m-" I started to say, but in the next second, he pulled me close and kissed me." Sexual assault, guys.

Page 15 "Why can't you just get out of here and leave me alone?" "I can't!"

Nevermore, page 48, "Shut up!" (He continues, even though she IS OBVIOUSLY IN PAIN), page 305, literally that entire fucking page as well as pages 306 and 307.

This fucking sentence: "That's the only way I want my life to end- with you."

And that's only me skimming for five minutes, not in depth reading. Be happy about that.

Dylan is not a good person. Dylan is a stalker. Dylan is someone who has committed sexual assault. He never asks for consent before kissing her in any of the times he did so. Neither did Fang, but this is about Dylan, and so:

Dylan is an interesting CHARACTER. He is a horrible PERSON. He is not, has never been, and never will be perfect, because perfect does not exist, has never existed, and never will exist.

Over and out.


	71. Angel is dead: theory

Theory: Angel is a clone

Specifically, the Angel in the last two books. Angel goes missing at the end of ANGEL. She is experimented on, it's horrible, yada yada yada. At the start of Nevermore and end of ANGEL we have a scene where we think Angel is dead/dying. Also in "Nevermore" we have Angel gaining more powers, as well as suddenly not being able to deal with her visions. Is this because they are new to her entirely?

In book three we learn that a clone for Angel EXISTS, as well as one for Nudge, but they are never mentioned again. Perhaps the original Angel died and was replaced with her clone to continue experiments? This brings up another point.

If the clone was the original voice- remember, we don't know when the clone was created, so it could have been in book one when Max first hears it- it would make sense. It could have also have been Jeb in the first book (which explains why it hurts so much- he doesn't have mind powers, so he must have talked to her via her chip). But if Angel 2 was just created and had found out what was going on, found out who Max was and was trying to help her it would make sense it hurt Max at first because Angel 2didnt know how to control her powers yet. When she later talks to the rest of the flock it doesn't hurt, presumably because she's figured out her powers. It also explains Jeb's voice and Angel's.

It does not explain where the Nudge 2 went, but it's probable she died in the riots in book three. Angel 2 would have escaped, being able to control minds and all, and probably went around trying to get people to listen to Fang. She probably thought she could take on the doomsday group, underestimated them, and was captured.

It explains Angel's dynamic and sudden character change, and her freaking out.

What do YOU think?


	72. Letter 39

607: Dylan can see the future- so why did he and Angsl, who also knows exactly what is about to happen send people to the caves, where they know they will flood?

BACK TO THE BOOK "MAX":

608: Why ARE they happy to be in school?

609:'How do they sit in any sort of chair? It's impossible to hide those wings- no matter what James said, ten and thirteen feet are not fitting- so they drag on the ground behind them a bit? No?

610: Nudge realizes they'd still want to kill her and experiment on her once she had her wings removed anyways, right? That's fame couldn't escape her? She'd miss flying?

611: Max's motherly instincts are horrible. Page 83? What makes anyone here think she's actual motherly enough to have a kid yet?

612: Back to the last book, but she is basically forced to have a kid.

613: Max and co. aren't banned from Walmart even though Nudge ripped off a fire hydrant and threw it at the managers feet.

ANs:

Guest 1: Yes, ADHD is a LOT more severe, but those were things most well known, that's why those points were made.

Guest 2: I'm sorry, but Max said "No" many times, very clearly, and Dylan sexually assaulted her anyways, so no. Dylan is not "perfect."

Guest 3: Max is abusive, and I'm doing a separate chapter on that soon! :D

Alyssa: QUEEN! Was the museum okay? Was the slurpee good? Are we all crazy?!

Loot: OH MY GODS PLEASE PUT A LINK IN THE REVEIW I LOVE YOU I'M GOING TO FAVORITE IT RIGHT NOW THANKS FAM

guest: someone is writing a Iggy/JJ best friends FIC? Who? I will hug you. And send cookies. Those gay nerds are mah LIFE tbh


	73. Max is lowkey abusive

Max, as much as we may love her, is absuive. I grabbed some emotionally abusive signs and put them below. If anyone is doing this, realize it's not your fault! It could potentially be a trigger, skip if need be, okay?

Humiliating or embarrassing you. **Sort of**

Constant put-downs. **Sort of**

Hypercriticism. **Hella yes**

Refusing to communicate. **Hella yes**

Ignoring or excluding you. **Hella yes**

Extramarital affairs. **I mean...**

Provocative behavior with opposite sex. **Yes**

Use of sarcasm and unpleasant tone of voice. **HELLA YES**

Unreasonable jealousy. **YES**

Extreme moodiness. **Oh hella yes**

Mean jokes or constantly making fun of you. **Yup**

Saying "I love you but…" **oh boy, yes**

Saying things like "If you don't _, I will_." **Yup**

Domination and control. **Hahahaha yes**

Withdrawal of affection. **Yup**

Guilt trips. **Heck** **yes**

Making everything your fault. S **orta. Yes.**

Isolating you from friends and family. **No**

Using money to control. **No**

Constant calling or texting when you are not with him/her. **No**

Threatening to commit suicide if you leave. **No**

While this was mainly for four people in particular (Fang, Dylan, Jeb and Angel) she does it with the entire flock, unintentionally so, but still. She's a teen mom who has no clue what the hell she's doing, but she's still emotionally manipulative. Sorry Maxie.


	74. Letter 40!

614: Max says they could see anything coming from a mile away, but that's OBVIOUSLY FALSE BECAUSE HER MKM GETS KIDNAPPED

615:'They are notoriously light sleepers, yet they somehow didn't wake up when they took her?

616: Hiw did they get her mom out of a windowless bathroom without anyone seeing?

617: Lets Max go, then comes after her only a few days later?

618: "Your middle name is charging off." Actually, none of them have middle names

619: Only Max has a last name? Why?


	75. Letter 41

620: Back to the book Max, Max hangs up and Fang tells her right after she does this that they are surrounded. Couldn't he have told her a SECOND before hand so she could tell the person she was on the phone with, a very powerful person, I may add, to I dunno, SEND BACK UPS?

621: They are trying to save the world from pollution, but they use a hummer. The hummer is infamous for the pollution it causes. Wtf.

622: John sends the FBI to Ella but not to Max and co.

623: Ella has been alone this whole time. Valencia was getting on a plane, so she would obviously be gone a long time, so who was taking care of her?

624: John literally says "usually, no one would be here at this hour..." when they get the fax from Mr. Chu, but conveniently they were. *slow claps8

625: Also, "It looks like the original number (AN: who it comes from) got caught off somehow during transmition." e


	76. Letter 42

626: Robot for some reason pronounces her name wrong. Okay. Sure. It's not like they were trying to make him look like Ari and would thus try and make him sound like him, too. Whatever.

627: I quote, "Ari dobblyganga doppergung doppelmunger" but with the last three words crossed out. Lets dissect this. One: Syntax wise, this doesn't make any sense. This not only has never been seen before, but is never seen again. Not to mention *le gasp* autocorrect exists! And it's online, so why did she take the time to DO THE MECHANICS TO CROSS IT OUT instead of just DELETING IT?

628: Corded phones

629: John calls, saying he was tipped Max's house was under surveillance. Which makes me wonder: why weren't Max and co. being guarded? Who told John, since they WEREN'T being guarded? A traitor? I want to know this story. Someone write this story. Please.

630: Max says they aren't, which is utter bullshit, because they are literally surrounded and she KNOWS this. Her pride is ridiculous.


	77. Letter 43

631: Max counts Nudge being almost as tall as her as being mature enough to go off (ahem, stay behind) by herself. Which is very illogical. Age nor height determines your maturity or ability to survive. Nudge is very impulsive, I don't think this is a good idea. She may be a good fighter but she often gets in tough spots, so no.

632: The whole flock imagines naked men (chapter 28, page 117)

633: They let Max and co go on the search just because they have wings, disregarding how their PTSD, trauma, and emotional connection to the person could sabotage the entire thing

634: Typo on page 117. The period should go after the parentheses, not have the preen theses be a sentence on its I'm nitpicking, shut it.

635: Birds being weird never explained. There's no reason. Wtf

636: The window must be very low in the ransom picture for Valencia. We can assume she's kneeling, plus it's at her elbow, so what?

637: Max tells the commander "you have one minute to tell me your plan. Make it good." Lololololol sweetie they can kick you out in any time, there's no reason for you to be here. Also, no reason to be rude. Bitch, much?

638: Max complains about the phrase "fly in the ointment" but uses it twice in two consecutive sentences.

639: Iggy says, I quote, "I miss her brownness." About Nudge. OHMYFUCKCANYOUGETMUCHMORERUDEYOUDONTSAYANYTHINGABOUTWHITEPEOPLEOHMYGODFUCKOFFUGH

640: If Iggy can see whiteness, he should be able to see a lot of things, actually. So why can he only see snow?

?


	78. Letter 44

641: I quote, "he's your soulmate." The voice says this about Fang. Don't mind me, crying from pained laughter in the background, referencing a chapter I wrote in this fic that proved there is no such this in this universe.

642: They are allowed to bring Total. Not to be rude, but I doubt that would happen.

643: Once again in a classroom. Again. "We're never in school!" Bitch please. You are in almost every book. I'm done.

644: Max crawls under a fence, instead of, you know FLYING over.

645: Rude stereotypes of those in the army, which is utter shit and incredibly rude. Every adult in this series has one of three personalities- exactly the same kind of rude, delusional, or nice and perfect.

646: There aren't any lifeguards at the beach

647: No one is surprised they have wings when they save the kid drowning

648: Nudge somehow knows where they are and magically flies up to them

649: Now that I think about it, how did Iggy get to Anne's house in book two from his parent's home? He can't see! And only flew it once! He won't remember that!

650: A dozen or so M-geeks are shooting at Max and Fang while they kiss and magically they ALL MISS


	79. Letter 45

651: Max's jeans didn't go along with her shirt. But she also didn't bring any bags along, so ? And don't jeans go with all t-shirts?

652:Apparently M-Geeks can't fire upwards or turn around

653: M-Geeks keep shooting even after Max and Fang jump out of sight off the cliff

654: Sharks apparently understand English

655: Mr. Chu seems reluctant to use the term mutant

656: Chapter 50, first page, we learned all of this in the last book (talking about how islands are formed).

657: Max is upset Fang wants to LEARN

658: Mediocre description of a panic attack

659: Max says she's never had a panic attack before and she's only having one now because of Fang. WHY DON'T I BELIBE THIS, HMM, I WONDER

660: Total thinks this is the perfect time to talk and Max is somehow able to talk to him like nothing is wrong. Okay. Sure.


	80. Letter 46

661: I quote the next sentence that Total says about Akila, "She's a dedicated career dog. How could I ever ask her to settle down, raise a few litters?" Um, how about you look after them after she's done with the months where she has to feed them? YOU don't HAVE a job, kid.

662: Whatever happened to Doctor Noelani Akana?

663: Max gets angry that people want to give her an anti anxiety pill. Why doesn't she explain why she can't have it, instead?

664: I've had Valium, the effects she had did not happen. While I note different people have different reactions, since she's likely had this Ned or one similar to it before, her system probably would have gotten used to it and she wouldn't have had as big of a reaction

665: Max hasn't had Valium before B3, even though she was literally experimented on

AN and an apology:

Hi everyone! A few things to address! 1) you may have realized that we've been gone awhile! We're very sorry, but things have been far to busy to handle. 2) An apology. You may have seen how we got angry about Max being called Latina and before hand being portrayed as white. We were in no way saying that it isn't possible, nor that her identity is less valid, but we do feel that James was invalidating her race by making her blonde and very fair skinned- especially in the graphic novel depicting of her. We personally feel the flock should have been more diverse. Note that in no book does anyone experience discrimination due to race, and we think that was (while ideal, and what we want) unfortunately rather unrealistic. Seeing how people who grew up outside the system completely shutting down racist bigots would have been nice.

Loot: I'm here, sister!

Alyssa: hey! I've missed you, how have you been? Don't worry, you didn't miss any! I KNOW, I HAVE SIX DAYS LEFT I'M SO EXCITED AAAH. Don't worry about calling me babe, I call people pet names all the time lol. What show is that, I don't think I've heard of it?

See you all soon!

love y'all but not in a weird way,

Fire* and Bat


	81. Letter 47

666: Religious undertones hahaha. Also, distinct LACK of religious undertones (soon to be a new chapter)

667: Chapter 52 of "Max" on page 211 decides to yet AGAIN remind us Angel can read minds. "By 'hear' she meant telepathically..." Oh my god, we GET IT

668: Okay, so back to the age thing? I was wrong. Max goes from fourteen to seventeen. She chose seven because Angel did. Um. Okay.

669: Crew member plays poker with a seven year old and BETS MONEY?

670: Max thinks the best parenting style is punishment for bad behavior (page 217, "I'm gonna bend her over my knee!")

AN:/

We got to chapter 80! Sorry they've been short, but we thought a lot of shorts makes up better then one long one :)

Alyssa: Oh my gosh, thanks! But no, we're not inspiring, we just are really stubborn people who destroy the series


	82. Theory: MR robot army (short)

Theory: Nudge can brainwash and destroy Robots

Angel is able to brainwash the robots in the book "Max," (page 234) but this brings up some interesting points. One, the robots don't HAVE brains, so how is she able to do this? Note, I'm adding this as a sin, so that's 671. Two, my theory.

Nudge is able to move things that are magnetic/can change things magnetically. These robots are made with computer technology, or at least something like it, and most people know that computers become completely scrambled when you put a magnet near them. This could destroy a lot of the robots, first off, but in addition to that if Nudge learned to fine tune her ability she could adjust her level of magnetism/force and move wires/chips around slightly, and rewrite them completely (perhaps with Iggy and/or Gazzy's help). They would thus have their own robot army.

Boom click *drops mic*


	83. Letter 48

672: Max says that currents aren't as deep as she is. There might not be in her specific area, but yes, there are.

673: Angel says about the creatures, I quote, "And it wanted to kill. It wanted to kill everything." With what we learn later, this doesn't make sense. It also doesn't make sense they later help them, but hey! Then we wouldn't have a book.

674: Max thinks they will all die, forgetting that they have radios!

675: They jump from a water raft into the sky, only sinking into the water "about a foot." With their wing ratio, the wind caused by the helicopter, and how close everyone is, they would not be able to do this.

676: Max realizes the same thing I did about Angel- how she shouldn't have been able to manipulate machines. She then wonders if Angel knows something about Mr. Chu she doesn't. This, of course is NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN.

677: No one in the flock even though they have been experimented on, and have talked about radiation in earlier books, apparently know what radiation is. Or the atom bombs.

678: How the ever loving fuck did they get water balloons? They didn't even have time to fill them up! Even Max doesn't have an explanation!

679: Fang doesn't join in?

680: HOW DOES IGGY HIT ANYONE HE IS LITERALLY BLIND LIKE I KNOW HIS HEARING IS GOOD BUT MAX HAS SUPERSPEED I AM NOT BUYING THIS


	84. Letter 49

681: Max "hums" the balloons at Gazzy and Iggy. What does that even mean?

682: How do you hold a bird kid upside down while in midair? Idk, but apparently Max knows

683: Monster just shows that it's there, then disappears. Why not attack?

684: Guy shouts that "it's a thing! Hfijwalrhfi (paraphrasing)." Couldn't they check the, I don't know, RADAR?

685: Things move slower in water, so her dropping her flashlight wouldn't be horrible enough to break it. Also, tenticle porn hasn't been made for this yet (I'm kidding)


	85. Letter 50 and reaching 700

686: It's said Valencia has gone 4 days without water, but she 1) Wouldn't be able to talk if that was true, and 2) you can only live 3 days without water, so she's dead. Ironic she dies from drowning, ain't it? Also, James, it took less then a minute to google that, you lazy ass.

687: Valencia isn't concerned AT ALL when they say they have Max, HER DAUGHTER in custody. In fact, she laughs and gives them her sympathy. What the FU-

688: Max, without the heavy air tank, should be floating up now. And dying from it

689: If the monster is as fast as a freight train, they should be dead.

690: The army shoots a TORPEDO at them!

691: Angel can't reason with them for some reason?

692: The bends barely effect them

693: If the monsters can go so fast, why are they staying within a 20 mile radius?

694: The people who work for Mr. Chu kept the giant "radiation, stay away!" stickers on, even though they knew they were doing something REALLY ILLEGAL and that would attract attention

695: They put giant stickers on the illegal barrels that say "belongs to the chu corporation." WOW, GOOD JOB, YOU GUYS

696: What even IS the Chu corporation? It's never explained.

697: Ghostbuster reference. Ah, yes, because a navy officer will make jokes in a situation as serious as this. Mhm. Sure.

698: If the robots can move fast, how could torpedos help? How many torpedos do they HAVE?

699: There is NO. WAY. that Iggy and Gazzy know more about the submarine then the engineers.

700:

1) That we got this far OH MY GOD YOU GUYS WE DID IT AND WE ARE STILL GOING I AM CRYING OH MY FUCK

2) The captain listens to the 8 year old, inexperienced, pyro, IDIOTIC (he electrifies the hull, and since the whole thing is metal, EVEYONE should have died) plan


	86. Theory fourteen: Jeb is a clone

Yet another theory! This theory is that Jeb and Dr. GH are clones in the later books. Why? Well, in book 3, the director tells Jeb (paraphrased since I don't have the books with me rn) "if you don't have the flock in here by tonight, I will kill you." He doesn't get them in by that deadline, but he is still a character in later books, and in that book as well (obviously).

Now, since there are clones of experiments they HATE, ie the flock, why wouldn't they have clones of the scientists, people they NEED? Not to mention, these clones would be theoretically (and cannonly) easier to control. We know this from Ari. We also from Ari that with the farther the way you get from the original DNA wise, the farther away you get personality wise. Jeb becomes more and more delusional as the books go on. Could this be because he is a clone? There a number of instances where he should have/could have died.

Similarly, Dr. GH should have died when he was in the airplane crash. Before this, as awful as he was, he seemed at east a bit logical. After this book though, he completely looses it. Could this be a clone that went wrong?

I doubt we'll ever see this answered, but it's a fun idea.

AN: To the anon: No, we are NOT actually an actor. We promise. We're just fans.

To everyone else: I am SO SORRY I have been gone, what, four months? Yikes. I sort of lost my MR interest, but I promised you, I will continue this fic! I'm working on two more chapters for you, which I will finish as soon as I get my books back. Bless Bat for not leaving me be. 3

Have a good rest of your day!

-Fire* and Bat


	87. Unfinished theory 15

Theory fifteen! Wowzers! Here we go! It's more of a drabble, honestly, but still.

Okay, so, we know that the flock are all Eagles, Falcons, or Hawks. Why? Because even though the wing colors make NO SENSE WHATSOEVER they would have to be, for the Dna types, their eyesight, the scientific control, and I'm pretty sure it says they are (but I don't have my books with me, so don't quote me on that.) These birds are all birds of prey.

The powers that they get later (minus Iggy) (and yes, I know that they DON'T MAKE SENSE JDNFNSKBDRMJ) are very specialized powers. Mind control? Hacking? Biological agents? Not to mention, birds of PREY?

The director tries to sell the group to China. Basically, the flock were CREATED in the hopes they could be sold as weapons. They aren't, but they always were supposed to be weapons.


	88. Letter 51

701: Okay, so Fang is an asshole. He leaves, and only writes a letter to his girlfriend, not the rest of his FAMILY. And if and when he does say something to them, he only says a sentence or two. And who are they to? Angel. And a sentence about Dylan. Screw Nudge, Gazzy, and Iggy, "the not as important main characters who we never really hear about." It's not like he grew up with them his entire life.

He tells Max "hey let's meet up in twenty years. Also, tell everyone I'll miss them." Tell them yourself! Write EVERYONE a letter, not just a sappy love letter to Max, you prick! No wonder Iggy is a sassy mess, he has to put up with this hell flock. What the heck.

702: The director, for some reason, does not have a backup clone

703: The director, a GENIUS, forgets to turn of the electric net? I'm sorry, but no.

704: They were shutting down the experiments starting book 3 and up, but for some reason, Star, Kate, Ratchet, and Holgen are still kidnapped and created, and aren't hunted and killed, though they would have been very easy to find

705: If Holgen immortal? Does he ever catch viruses?

706: Why would the scientists not inject themselves/other mutants with whatever they did to Holgen so they could ALSO not get hurt?

706: Holgen heals right away, basically making him immortal, just like Fang. So why not grab HIM, instead of Fang, since he is a kid, not that strong, and basically easier to catch in general?

707: Holgen/Ratchet/everyone else in Fang's flock are experimented on AFTER birth. I'm sorry, but they would NOT have survived the scientists messing up their DNA then without SERIOUS repercussions, of at all

708: All of them besides Iggy are able bodied?! What?! No?!

(PS I forget if it's Holden or Holgen and I don't have a book with me)

(PS James, reply to our letters, damn it, we've sent eighty hecking eight.)


	89. Letter 52

GUYS A REVEIWER CALLED "THEPERFECTIONIST" BLEW ME OUT OF THE WATER AND ADDED A TON OF STUFF I LOVE THEM

Here are the stuff they pointed out! And thanks for helping me with the name, you guys!

709: How do the whitecoats find the school?

710: Also how did they agree to work for the school?

711: (They never go to a 7/11) How did the whitecoats not ask the wrong person and get reported to the government?

712: Why do they call it the school?

713: How does Gazzy randomly see the curtin and pull it aside? (In book one, I'm assuming)

714: Why do they not take a single mutant into their flock? Why were these other mutants not later mentioned?Why does the flock never ask them for help?

715: Why is there no guards in the area?

BAT AND I'S SINS:

716: Who the FUCK started the school? It was made a LOOONG time ago, but like? What? Why? WHAT? WHY?

717: Why are there MULTIPLE BRANCHES OF THE SCHOOL?

718: No one was suspicious about literally every Itex plant getting mobbed what wha t

719: There's nothing in the news about literally every single Itex plant getting mobbed

720: Some scientists still survived, so why wasn't there a NEW Itex plant built?

721: Are you seriously telling me they destroyed EVERY Itex plant? Because I find this HIGHLY unlikely


	90. Letter 53

722: Book four, I quote, "You look... Like a girl." His voice held bemusement. "There's a reason for that," I said seriously. "No, I mean like a real-" he seemed to catch himself."

This is right after she cleans herself up, and all that jazz. Not only is this lowkey transphobic (James you piece of SHIT) but also really misogynistic? Fang only sees her for the most part when she's dirty, because they are ON THE RUN. This is ridiculous.

PSA according to Fang you can't be a girl unless you are perfectly clean this is true I am a scientist

723: I quote, book four, 'When you guyz grow up, will you lay eggz or have babeez? [insert heart emoji because fanfic won't do that]" Fang answers "With any luck, I won't do either. Not sure about Max, Nudge, and Angel. Don't want to find out anytime soon."

I- I can't- you GUYS- Boy. BOY.

724: The way these teens type, I am concerned for all humanity tbh

725: WHY IS THE VOICE ALWAYS TALKING IN RIDDLES. THEY ARE ON THE RUN TRYING TO SAVE THE WORLD WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS PHILOSOPHY BULLSHIT.

AN/

Alyssa! Oh my gosh I have missed you so much! I know, I'm worried for school, too! What have you been up to recently, how are you?! *blows out cake candles* Thanks! -Fire

Melany Martinez: AAAAAH hey! Thank you, so much! Yeah, Paranoia was such a bad story I wrote, so I took it down. I'm still cringing... Jesus. Yeah, this is a lot like cinema sins! I'm just full of spite. And I wouldn't say I'm into yaoi, I'm just really gay. I'm the gayest gay. -Fire

Bat: Heeeey more chapters coming today! We need one more review to make it to 160 and I have OCD so if you could even just write a question mark I'd appreciate it!


	91. Theory 16

726: In book four, page 30, Max and the flock and the U.S. Government get shown a film summarizing their life. This includes video footage from the last book. This raises A LOT of questions. Such as:

There is footage of them, I quote "just chilling in Anne's house." How did they get this footage? Was Anne always working for the FBI? Or did they take it from the school? If the government knew about the the school, it would explain the school's funding (as we have previously shown, there is no possible way the school would have stayed afloat). It would also explain how the Eraser... Things? find the flock later on in the book when they go to the governments "school" and why the governement would want them at the school in the first place.

This film also shows Ari dying. Since all of the Itex buildings were apparently destroyed in the school children mobs (insert me screaming here), how did the government get this footage? Also, since they apparently knew about Itex, why didn't they shut them down sooner? Why would they show Ari DYING? That's the most sadistic shit I have ever heard. What the hell?!

AAAAND the government wants to use them as weapons, just as the school did. I'm guessing the school did a lot of things behind the govs back, obviously, but eh.

Tl:dr: The government is funding the school. Yikes.


	92. Letter 54

727: Were the other kids The Flock would go to school with in book four also mutants? Why are they never mentioned? WAS COMPUTER KID MIKE ONE OF THEM? What are their stores? Screw MR, this is the series I want.

728: (B4 page 32) Max for some reason knows who Bill Nye is. Glad to know when you're being experimented on they at least show you kids shows.

729: I repeat, "The fact remains that you are minors, and as such must be adult supervision and guardianship, according to state law." Yes, it is state law. To citizens of THAT STATE, which Max and the Flock AREN'T. #TFW congressmen don't know their own laws

730: "I've seen horrible part human mutants die gut wrenching deaths." Yeah, but you only saved the Bird Kids, no other variable life forms. Wowzers. Such a caring bunch, this group.

731: "You're black." "I prefer canine American." CAN WE STOP WITH THE RACIST JOKES THANK YOU VERY MUCH? (Screams)

732: White people describing Nudge's skin color as a type of food. (I'm gonna scream I'm gonna scream to late I SCREAMED) (Fuck you, JP)

733: Max, a girl constantly on the run and who often needs to run away in the middle of the night, sleeps in her underwear, and not, you know, pants.

734: Apparently they never smell.

735: Max and Fang, who were attacked just yesterday, leave the flock without a note or anyone AWAKE OR ON GAURD to go for a flight just for fun


	93. Letter 55

736: Max (page 54) has apparently read teen magazines

737: The senator literally tells Max she just doesn't have the life experience to make her own decisions. I'm-

738: They think that dive bombjng the pentagon is a good idea, for some reason. 10/10, y'all.

739: Birds can go invisible 2k whatever year it is because it never specifies

740: Iggy screams when Max hits him. With a pine cone. Compared to everything he has been through, I'm concerned.

741: "We will not make friends with humans until after the apocalypse." Okay, Max, whatever you say. Max thinks there will be normal humans after the apocalypse.

742: There ARE normal humans after the APOCALYPSE

743: Max, a girl, stereotypically loves chocolate

744: Total never gets fleas.

745: It doesn't hurt angel when she shape shifts. She can also grow feathers all around her, (BLUE ONES?) which would have kept her warm later in the book.


	94. Letter 56

746: Angel and Gazzy are siblings, but he never gets any powers. Also, why doesn't Angel ALSO have health problems like Gazzy? That's weird.

747: Fang, for the first three books, just wants to live in a cave somewhere. But suddenly, book four and up, he's all "it's our duty to save the world!" Boy. Boy. No, it isn't. B O Y.

748: Forced romanticizing of a god damn DOG. The straights are at it again.

749: It's all fun and games until all of a sudden, James is spewing stuff about global warming and learning, which is great! But! It doesn't fit in with the story! Also, are you really telling me that the flock doesn't know what global warming is, but they know who Bill Nye is?! The HECK?

750: "You're wrong, Max. There is a you and me. There will always be a you and me." Is a direct quote from Fang, page 121.

1) That sounds really controlling and manipulative and I HATE it so much. I can't even tell you.

2) Oh, sure, except for when you get all cozy-cozy with her literal clone. Or when you leave. In Fang, Angel, and Forever. No, it's cool. Whatever. You piece of scum.


	95. Letter 57

751:Max doesn't know what global warming is, even though she grew up in a lab, but knows who Shakespeare is. Okay.

752: The uber-director's (PS director of... What? Obviously not the school. But he for some reason has control of fly boys. WHO ARE YOU, UD?) assistant is never mentioned again! He probs died. Lets hear it for James and his off scene death scenes! Hear, hear!

753: Page 152, Fang literally tells his blog where they are. This, kids, is why he shouldn't be leader.

754: Max, for some reason, is really obsessed with cute shoes. #Max has a shoe fetish confirmed

755: Akila for some reason is not moving! A dog! And they have no way to communicate with her that they are sounded by robots with lasers! This is not a thing! No way!

756: They tried opening the back ramp (off scene) apparently, even though a paragraph earlier she explained how they could not move AT ALL or the lasers would kill them

757: So the whole reason they are kidnaped is because "we are against global alarming and violently opposed to your kind." (Page 210) But the UD then just wants to sell them. Huh? And why not go after, you know, the bigwigs DESTROYING THE EARTH? Not the flock, which is trying to save it? These people, I swear.

758: Gozen can move faster then rapter vision can track

759: They are apparently all part rapter, but there is NO WAY that's possible

760: This series has Max and Fang have sex in the last book, but I've seen two swear words in the entire series.


	96. Letter 58

761: Why.. Why would you make a transparent person.. W h y

762: The UD, a transparent robot/human, can blush.. why and how, exactly?

763: How did he even start talking to other presidents? What are his connections? Why didn't they just SCREAM when they first saw him? And leave, since it was probably online?

764: HOW HAS NO ONE HACKED INTO THE SCHOOL OR ITEX THE UD'S 7COMPUTERS

765: Gazzy's weird fart ability is never mentioned again.

766: page 232, Max completely forgets about Iggy, but tells everyone else by name to stick close to her

767: Total is literally IN A HURRICANE but can still talk

768: Angel, Gazzy and Nudge are able to tie themselves together whilst being BLOWN AROUND in a hurricane. Where did they get the rope? And why not anyone else?

769: Akila doesn't die.

770: Not only does Akila NOT DIE, she is blown around in a hurricane by herself, an 80 pound dog, knocking into debree, and then falls from the hurricane (which is cannonly going over windsfaster then 120 miles per hour) on top of Max. Not only is this an amazing coincidence, but Max, who weighs less then 100 pounds lands on her ass. This not only should have killed Akila, who fell FROM THE SKY, but Max, or at least have broken her tailbone.


	97. Letter 59

771: The section of the book "how bad can it be" on global warming inspired the song in the Lorax movie.

772: Why is it ALWAYS Colorado, Virginia, Florida, Arizona, California, or Washington? Always? ALWAYS?

773: FINISHED WITH THAT BOOK, LET'S MOVE ONTO THE BOOK "FANG" AGAIN. Iggy tells Gazzy "skateboard!" This isn't a plan! It involves jumping on a table with wheels! When did this ever come up?!

774: Gazzy, mid table skateboarding, goes backwards and OVER TWO GAURDS. That's impossible. That's not physically possible. What the fuck.

775: Nudge gets punched so hard in the face "her skin split under the impact." As someone who has been victim to homophobic and transphobic violence, I can tell you that that is not how punching works, my dudes.

776: Nudge APOLOGIZES for kicking the guy who did this to her?! WHAT?!

777: (aaaayyyyoooo) Max calls Dylan, I quote, page 280, "the youngest but most powerful bird kid." Um... Hello? Angel can literally control people's minds. What is this nonsense?

778: I quote, same page, "'Gazzy, what's good here?' It's flock shorthand for: is there anything you can make blow up here?" Okay, sure, Max. Even though we've never heard you say that before. Whatever, I'm not bitter (GAZZY WHAT'S GOOD?)

779: Nudge and Gazzy start spraying everyone with horrible chemicals. Yup, you guessed it, they're dead. The flocks murdering list goes up a few.

780: I quote, page 284: "Fang lying on the beach, the first time he was badly injured." BITCH WHERE? IN WHAT REALITY WAS THAT THE FIRST TIME HE WAS "BADLY INJURED?" HE WAS LITERALLY EXPERIMENTED ON FOR HIS ENTIRE LIFE HE HAS GOD DAMN WINGS WHAT ARE YO T


	98. Letter 60

781: I quote, page 284, "Fang kissing me. So close I couldn't even see his dark eyes anymore." I don't know if this is a straight thing, but as a gay gal I'm just gonna say you usually kiss with your eyes closed. What would you be looking at then? His nose bridge?

782: When she stabs him with the needle there isn't any blood whatsoever.

783: Fang gets stabbed in the heart, through bones, wakes up right away, and says "s'sup?" THIS MAKES NO SENSE AAAAAAARRRRGGGGG

784: Page 284: "The doctor's eyes got even wider as he became fully aware of Fang's regained consciousness. "This doesn't make sense!" "YOU don't make sense!" I bit out through my tears.

Same, doc. Same.

785: Dylan shoots himself full of so much adrenaline he dies. There isn't any way he is coming back from that, my dudes.

786: Page 299, I quote, "In his eyes I saw the promise of OUR future together (some more sentences) And every bit of it would be okay. Because we would be together." Mhm. Not only does Fang leave in LITERALLY THE NEXT CHAPTER, but they never get married.

787: Nudge comes into the room. They see a note on the bed. "What is it?" She asked in a hushed tone. It could just be a note saying he's gone out flying. Y'all are so over DRAMATIC.

788: "'Dear Max- You looked so beautiful today. I'm going to remember what you looked like forever.' Nudge put a hand over hear mouth." CHILL. It could be a really cute love letter you sissies oh my GOD

789: He is basically saying "I love you to much so we can' the together" which is RIDICULOUS . BOY. YOUR LOGIC IS ?

790: Max knows the word "asinine" for some reason. Okay, sure.


	99. WE REACH 800! Letter 61

791: Fang made a pro/con list for staying with Max and one of the cons is "doesn't need me sometimes." What kind of petty, heteronormative shit is this.

792: Fang talks about the GDP of Chad vs the U.S. is.

793: Fang uses everyone's real names in his blog

794: "I want Max to be mine. You have no right to touch her." Is an actual quote from Fang to Dylan in a letter. WHAT STRAIGHT, ABUSIVE, POSSESIVE, ABSOLUTE SHIT IS THIS? IT'S HER OWN BODY? FUCK OFF

795: Fang gets Iggy an audiobook without a way for him to listen to it. Okay. Sure, whatever, I'm not judging.

796: Jess says, in the book, that she's been asking questions on his blog for THREE. YEARS. That doesn't fit with the timeline or make any sense AT ALL!

797: One of her questions is "Do you have a Jamacian accent?" Why would he have a Jamacian accent?! What is even the purpose of this dumb chapter?!

798: Is this the same Jess from book three?!

799: WHY DOES GAZZY KNKW HOW TO DO THE SOULJA BOY

800:

1) What the FUCK I never thought we'd get this far I am genuinely crying I am still not done holy shit

2) Fang says "Dude's don't die inside." I swear to god if I have to read one more cissexist, heteronormative, sexist piece of BROshit by James I'm going to set myself on fire


	100. Chapter 100 and Letter 62

First off, I want to thank everyone who has read this. I can't believe this is chapter 100, or we got to reason 800. This is ridiculous. This is amazing. All of you reviewers have been amazing, and I love you guys! So much! Thanks for putting up with my petty, bitter spite!

Since we're not done, I'll be doing more letters, and I have a few theories I will be finishing once I get the rest of the books back, so stay tuned for those!

Please tell me what YOU want to see more of! Theories, another character analysis, rambles, polls, scripts, whatever.

And without further ado:

801: How to Max and Fang even know do to do the do? They never learned anything about it

802: Fang crosses things out on google docs instead of deleting them I'm-

803: He's so petty he crosses out anything nice he has to say about Dylan.

804: HE MAKES AN AD FOR MUTANTS AND PEOPLE BELIEVE HIM AND SEND IN APPLICATIONS HOW DO THEY KNOW THIS ISN'T AN ELABORATE HOAX I'M SCREAMING

805: BACK TO THE BOOK "MAX." Max calls Bridget Fang's "favorite, underage scientist." Hahahahaha no, it says in book four she's twenty something, and on page 11 it says they ABOUT 14, but all of this is ridiculous when you remember when they found the pages it had their birthdays on it. Their real ones. But whatever.


	101. EWW: The Graphic Novels (B1, P1)

Letter 70!

Everything Wrong With The MR Graphic Novels

"Book" one:

1) The fact they're called mangas when they most certainly AREN'T

2) Nudge's hair. Why is it died? Why is it STRAIGHT?

3) Max has curly blonde hair!

4: Fang's hair reaches past his ass I'm screamin

5) Just the hair in general oh my GOD

6) The Eraser in the first page has GREEN HAIR?

7) The house is on beams over the cliff I repeat HELD UP OVE A CLIFF ON BEAMS

8/ 806: Narration like "I just love love Angel, maybe because I've been taking care of her since she was a baby," except Max just thought it like an actual thought and Angel responded. Who thinks like that?

9) The way the author draws Nudge's lips is. Yikes. artists learn how to draw poc characters, please. -Bat

10) Angel has a bow in her hair. Um?

11) Erasers are all completely shirtless. Why. When. What?

807) In the real books I had to re-read the "we're in the kitchen, now wer're doin a flashback" 4 times before I understood what was going on, did you guys? -Fire*

12) Nudge suddenly damsel in distress during the helicopter scene

13) The "we're the good guys" panel is otherwise blank

AN: I'm going through this and cringing oh my gosh Bat and I have changed so much since we've writen this last oh heck

Please send in requests, and this is only part one of this book (I left it at home but want to upload a chapter) so this will be a mini series! Have a lovely day! *heart*

-Fire*


	102. Everything wrong with the trailer

**Hey guys! It's been like 2 years, I know, I'm sorry, we're back!**

 **Everything Wrong With The Maximum Ride Movie Trailer!**

1: PG 13! I'm sure the later moves will have to change due to you know, people dying, getting pregnant, etc., but it sure fits in with Jame's/His ghostwriter's/Max's shifting opinions on swearing!

2: Max is now white-blond! What, me, nit picky? Never

3: Max being played by a WHITE PERSON when in the books she's Latina

4: Is it just me, or does Izzy seem like he's not blind?

5: Executive producer _Jenna Marbles?_

6: Nudges straight ironed hair oh sweet baby Jesus

7: Why are they wearing fashionable clothes in cages what

8: Why are they in LARGE, HUMAN SIZED CAGES, WHAT

9: Fang also being played by a white actor even though "olive skinned" means verying shades of brown (TBH why did none of us assume he was Jewish I mean... come on look at his profile)

10: Based on the books by "James Patterson" y'all KNOW his ghost writer is pitching a fit right now

11: Back to Nudge- why and how is her hair straight ironed? Why and how was she wearing makeup? Why aren't they in fucking hospital gowns what is this bullshit

On a side note Ari's casting is PERFECT just saying

More chapters soon, I promise, We just needed a filler


	103. REVISED Theory, trans gal Nudge

REVISED Theory:

Thanks to a guest who said, quote: I'm not trying to throw shade... but I think this theory is stupid. There's a difference between picking plot holes in a series and deliberately making wild assertions that have literally nothing to do with the character. Nudge becomes MORE feminine as the series goes on. She wants to wear stylish clothes in Nevermore and she even strikes up a conversation with the other girls about girly things that Max doesn't understand. She even threatens to cut off her wings (I forget which book) because she wants to be like girls in fashion magazines.

Like, you're right. This "story" IS dumb and I really only continue it out of habit. It won't be deleted but it sorta doesn't exist anymore. And you're right- I got the order of the books mixed up which is why I thought it was tans masc and not trans fem. That was my mistake. So thank you!

You need more evidence to prove this point, because it's interesting, but it's also way too convoluted to be taken seriously.

Thanks to a LOVELY review I got two chapters ago, in which, I quote, _"Why do you hate straight people so much? Not all straight people are abusive homophobes. Literally every time Fang or Dylan or whoever says something possessive and abusive, you blame it on them being straight. That's absolutely ridiculous."_ I present to you today's mini theory!

I'm not even going to go into how yes, every straight person is born into a homophobic world and taught that being gay is wrong and incorrect, and must confront their own homophobia, or how it all happened because there was no talk about consent and relationships or anything which is 100% a straight person trope or how apparently _none of y'all can get a joke, Jesus Lord!_ Or even how a minority is allowed to hate their oppressors, especially when y'all fetishize us for your fangirl entertainment!

Nope, I'm going to go straight into the theory! Which theory? You may be wondering. Don't worry friends! It's just that **Nudge is a closeted trans Girl!** Why is this a valid theory and not just an improbable headcannon? Take a hecking seat babes.

Now, I know that I talked about how James has made very transphobic remarks in the past (book three, looking at you), but he unintentionally made a trans coded character! Nudge could simply just be a trans person who doesn't know non binary people exist!

Nudge is coded to be a trans girl fighting internalized transphobia, which makes more sense than being a trans boy like I originally thought and made a chapter about. It would explain her passionate insistence and craving to be "a normal girl and do "traditionally girly things." She knows so much about sterotpically fem things and it's strange to me she would even with Max's insistence those things were bad. It might even explain of of Max's instinstence they're bad- thinly veiled transphobia.

It would also explain how she becomes MORE stereotypically feminine (I messed up, sorry) as the series moves on and how she starts leaning from more traditionally masc. hobbies (ie: The mechanic thing) to talking all about more fem things. Now obviously trans people are not really like this (i'm a trans person) but a lot of cis people characterize us as this so I think it fits. Of course, hobbies, makeup, and clothing preferences don't determine gender, but it heavily follows a cis gender (non trans) person hinting at trans ideas in other fiction.

Also? The cutting off wings thing? Dysphoria analogy much?

I messed up with the trans boy idea so thanks for calling me out, I appreciate y'all

-Fire*


	104. Chapter 104

Hey it's me and I'm back on my bullshit

806: Why did they get free makeovers in book 1? That's not a thing? That happens? Ever? What sort of foolish business practices smh. It reads like a fanfic. It makes no sense, and I'm salty. Why were they just in the right place at the right time? It's bullcrap

807: ALSO A FREE CHANGE OF CLOTHES? WHAT? THAT'S NOT HOW BUSINESSES WORK? WHY IS THIS A THING THAT HAPPENS?

808: Gazzy (if I remember correctly) is all in camo. Where'd he go? Can't see him! Didn't know he was a patriot, either.

809: Okay but how does the flock react to the pledge of allegiance? It's JP so I'm assuming they'd be chill with it, but like realistically they'd probably be horrified of it because it reminds them of the school, or they'd be mad cuz the government didn't realize what was happening to them until too late. We know it happened at the football game, and I just wish we could have been able to see that

810: ( which one pierced their ear) NEVER GETS INFECTED EVEN THOUGH THEY CAN'T WASH IT OUT EVER? Is also never mentioned again. I feel like that would be bad to wear because they're fighting a lot, and I can totally imagine the erasers grabbing that thing and yanking it out of his ear


End file.
